Episode 161 - Not Wearing Gloves - TLK S5E7&8

Eileen and Spencer are on the final season of The Last Kingdom. 

In order to be finished by June 21 and the premiere of House of the Dragon’s newest season, Spencer and Eileen will be discussing two episodes each week for this episode and the next two weeks. 

Loose ends are tied up in these two episodes. Uht has a BBQ. Stiorra f***s right off. Father Drunk just spews information to whomever will listen.  Young Wynn is confused at the machinations of Dick Dasterdly.  Where will Uht wind up? Will Edward stand his ground or concede? Will Constantine have the North? Who will Stan stand with? Bare Hands? Confused? You won’t be after this episode of Royal Highness!

royalhighnesspod@gmail.com 

This podcast contains adult language and content and is rated 'M' for Mature. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:08

I will say this though. It's the town is beautiful. It's absolutely gorgeous. It's right on, you know, water. It's everything is fantastic up there. I'm I'm I have a little bit of a love affair with this little town now.

SPEAKER_09 0:23

It's really pretty in the summer.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Yes, I know, and I know it's a trap. I know it's a trap. I know it's a trap. And they told us, they said, this is a trap. You know?

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Um it's a trap.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Because it snows there. It starts snowing, sometimes as early as late September. And snows daily until May.

SPEAKER_09 0:47

And at a time, too. It's not a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

They got 370 miles. Feet of snow? I don't even know.

SPEAKER_05 0:59

A lot of 35 feet of snow? Yeah, that sounds right. It's a lot of snow.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Not at all at once, right?

SPEAKER_09 1:07

But 42 inches of snow over here.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

So but okay, so they're doing a snow. What do you fucking do? They lean into it. They have a big they but here's the th here's what I was gonna say. All the roads are one way. Right? The most of the main roads are one way. And all out. No, but I got pulled into so many wrong turns. My son was so upset. I ended up across the river at one point. I don't want to get too specific on town names or anything, but.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

Anyway, it was uh it was a delightful weekend. I had a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_05 1:53

I'm wearing my college um mom shirt and feeling But you paid, what, $150 for it, the college bookstore?

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Oh no, no, it wasn't that bad. It was only, I think it was 40 bucks.

SPEAKER_05 2:05

Oh reasonable.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

I got a shirt and a lanyard and the beanie and the whole thing.

SPEAKER_05 2:11

Oh, you just went the whole nine yards of taking college.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

I am a proud, proud mama. I cannot tell you. I'm proud of all of my children. I have to do that. Well, that's what you need to see. Hello. And welcome to the Royal Highness podcast, where sometimes we watch George Martin chose for the first time while we're enhanced with cannaburps, cannaburbs product. And there we go.

SPEAKER_07 2:44

Give us some cannaburbs.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

So nowadays we're watching Last Kingdom on Netflix. We're getting so close to the end. And then we're gonna talk about that instead of uh the the world disintegrating in front of our very eyes. So there's that. Last Kingdom season five. We're doing two episodes tonight, episodes seven and eight.

SPEAKER_09 3:05

Um, they are titled Episode seven and episode eight.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

All right. So we'll start with episode seven.

SPEAKER_09 3:12

Netflix tells us you gotta welcome you to the show, Eileen.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

Oh hey, Spencer. Okay, here's what I'm gonna say. I had to raw dog life this weekend, meaning no alcohol, no drugs, and no, not even a gummy to help me sleep. Right? So when I came home today and did a little, I took a little so that I could take a nap, I slept for three hours. And I woke up, I'm like, oh god, no shit. Now I'm gonna watch the show.

SPEAKER_09 3:45

Um how long my nap was today?

SPEAKER_10 3:48

18 minutes. I'm jealous. I have shit to do, man.

SPEAKER_09 3:54

It's so yeah. Kind of a remarkable thing.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

Yeah. I wish I could. Three hours. Well, I didn't get much li sleeping in a hotel sucks. Because you don't get good sleep. Anyway. Hello. And welcome to the Royal Line.

SPEAKER_09 4:08

Oh no, no, we did that already. We did that already.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

No, I want to do it right so we can start. I don't know. Hi, Spencer.

SPEAKER_09 4:14

Hello, Eileen. We're good. I'm not you I think it was really funny what you did. We should talk about this program.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

We should, this program. I actually I don't know why, but tonight I was into it. Cried a little bit.

SPEAKER_09 4:30

I did too, but I was bored for the majority of my viewing time.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Really? I was into it tonight. I don't know why. Anyway, um, Netflix tells us for episode seven, Edward offers a role to Styora that would restore her to power. Ethelhelm meets with a Saxon enemy, and Utrid has a long overdue reckoning with Brida. I'm like, wow, give that one away. All right, just right off the bat. Well, it doesn't know what's gonna happen, though.

SPEAKER_09 4:57

It doesn't say what would happen. And I was certainly stunned by what happened.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

I was happy, I gotta tell ya. Fucking finally, man.

SPEAKER_09 5:06

Spoiler alert.

SPEAKER_02 5:07

So, yeah. Well, it it anything that starts with Utred and Breda meet is gonna be bad news for Breda. That's all there is to it.

SPEAKER_09 5:18

Well, there was that one time that she stabbed him.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

Oh yeah. Well, she did get in one shot. And now, well, we'll get to the okay. Uh, and then for episode eight, it says, because we're gonna go right through them. Um, Netflix says, uh, upon learning about Ethelhelm's location, so we know that happens. Udrid proposes an audacious attack. I love the word audacious, it's an audacious attack to rescue Alfwin and restore his birthright, but Edward is and this is an understatement. Cautious.

SPEAKER_09 5:50

Okay, hold on. Before you say anything else, if you read the description to episode nine, I didn't. It doesn't fucking matter what happens in episode eight.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

I kind of got that feeling. I'm gonna guess that Utred's gonna do what he's gonna do anyway, right?

SPEAKER_09 6:06

Well, yeah, and Edward rolls over and does what Utrud wants him to do anyway.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Of course, because anyway in a spoiler's alert.

SPEAKER_10 6:14

Yeah, for a show that came out four years ago. Epis my episode title for this whole shebang is just gonna be we finally figure out the title.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Did you catch it?

SPEAKER_09 6:25

The Last Kingdom.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Yes. Oh, we'll get there. We'll get there.

SPEAKER_09 6:30

I guess I wasn't paying close enough attention.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 6:33

I was probably too busy n waking up.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 6:40

No, that happened earlier. I just this just was a lot. It dragged on for me.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

All right. Well, all right. Recap. He is Utred, blah blah blah. Helm started this war, but they found out about it, and then Siggy took the fight to Helm, but Ed's arrival turned the jide, but he took the wrong side, did he not? He took Helm's side.

SPEAKER_09 7:04

He took the m the m the Saxon side. He didn't really take Ethel.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

Right, but Helm escaped. Um and then Udrid had to kill Siggy. Brida's still out there looking for vengeance. Then we go to Constantine, forming an alliance with uh Northumbria, and among them is uh Udrid's cousin.

SPEAKER_09 7:24

Whitgar, yeah. Whitkoparate. Who put the H in the wrong place in his name?

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Who put the H in the Whitgar Whitgar Wit? Who put the H in the Rama Lama Ding Dong? Who?

SPEAKER_09 7:35

That was fun.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Killed his uncle and took bed beat beyond both. Oh, my dog is losing his mind now. All right.

SPEAKER_09 7:42

Okay, cool. Thanks. Uh go to it. Thank you too, Eileen. I was actually thanking my kid for putting a stop to the barking.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Anyway. That's okay. You don't have to thank me for a terrible, terrible song. No, I thought it was fun. It was lots of fun. I'm gonna spend so much money in the next four years. I'm dead up to my eyeballs. Gonna have to start selling feet picks, guys.

SPEAKER_10 8:07

Yeah, um, can we talk about the content warning? Oh, yeah. We're promised violence. Check. Nudity?

SPEAKER_07 8:16

Checky!

SPEAKER_09 8:18

There were nip nips in this episode.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

There were nips. It was very brief.

SPEAKER_09 8:23

But there were like as we've established in past shows. There's a nipple. I'm seeing it.

unknown 8:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

Language though? I guess he says arse.

SPEAKER_10 8:32

And pump. Oh yeah. There's a hump. Gore?

SPEAKER_11 8:36

I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 8:37

That dude got stabbed through the neck. Which we hear about often, and we will talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Oh my god, all I could think. Okay, so listener. Spencer and I are in a DD group. Oh my god, she is gonna sick! There's the there's okay, so Spencer and I are in a DD group that his wife uh DMs. She's lovely and amazing, and I love it. Um we have so much, so much fun. But we had a character. Now you now you know how big of nerds we are. Um we've probably mentioned this before.

SPEAKER_09 9:11

Yeah, well, didn't we we all got a special item?

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Right.

SPEAKER_09 9:15

We all got a special item. That it's it's a monkey's paw thing.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

Right. And uh so this or one of our teammates, group mates, what do they call them? Party mates. What the fuck? I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 9:27

His name's Bob. It's the most average name in the world. It's not gonna hurt anybody.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

It's not gonna hurt anybody. So Bob, that's not his character name, he's just our guy. He gets an arrow that will always hit its mark, but for the rest of the for a day, it's a 24 hours. A not an hour. Okay. For the next hour, he can't talk about anything except killing that person or that creature or whatever. All he can do is brag about no matter what he says, it's got to be followed up with. And hey, remember when we were back in the remember when I shot that guy right through the eye hole?

SPEAKER_09 10:03

That was fucking awesome, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02 10:05

It's amazing. So, yeah, so we'll get there too. All right.

SPEAKER_09 10:08

I have a ring of of uh flatulent subterfuge. Yeah, yeah, I can fart in a different room once per day.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

I can I have a sentient potato on a stick. That's actually a terrible god. It's an amazing campaign, guys.

SPEAKER_09 10:25

Yeah, we're having a lot of fun. We're on hiatus right now, but it's still coming.

unknown 10:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

All right. So Steor is saying goodbye to Siggy before they bury him. And they they cut they break his sword. Is that a thing?

SPEAKER_09 10:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Yeah. It's the first time we've seen it. Break his sword, and then Steor is doing her flashbacks. We get more flashbacks later, but this is Stior's flashbacks.

SPEAKER_09 10:52

Flashbacky episode, really big flashbackies.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Yeah. So they put his sword uh with him, and she takes his hammer necklace. And I thought they were gonna do a Viking funeral boat. I thought, okay, here's what I thought. They put his horse in there, too. Damn, killed his horse. That was a perfectly good horse.

SPEAKER_09 11:15

I was waiting for Edmure Tully to come out and fail to shoot the horse three times. Just so Brendan Tully could come by and tell him he's a terrible archer, and then go, wait a minute, we're in the wrong show, and then just wander off. I have no idea what any of that is. Oh, it's from that episode where Caitlin starts.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

Right, right, right, right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_09 11:37

Okay. Or father.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

Everyone cheers for Stiora and she gives the warrior uh the warrior eulogy, and he's like, He lived as a warrior and died a king. Yeah. Everyone's going bonkers. So what does Rog do? He he shoots the shot and tries to put a hand on her, and she's like, Fuck the fuck off. And he's like, Okay, donkey donkey.

SPEAKER_09 12:02

Even Richard's like, leave her alone.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

Yep. So I thought there they show them shoveling something onto the boat. I thought it was gunpowder. Then I realized that didn't exist.

SPEAKER_09 12:15

So it's on the contrary. I think gunpowder did exist, but it hadn't reached England yet.

SPEAKER_02 12:21

Oh, right, because he was um that was in China, right?

SPEAKER_09 12:26

The Chinese invented gunpowder 3,000 years ago. If not longer.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Wow. They did everything first. They did whiskey first. I think they did pizza first, too, I heard.

SPEAKER_10 12:36

It's a pizza pie! It's Italian.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

No, do not know. I'm gonna make the whole thing up. Okay, we're gonna get to this show. However, I'm gonna say this. I have figured out why old people don't say things in groups of young people anymore. Here is why. No matter what I say, it's a slur.

SPEAKER_08 12:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

My kids correct me constantly. I'm like, okay, this is what it was like to be a parent in the 80s. We were making up all this slow.

SPEAKER_09 13:06

What word did you say that was so fucking offensive?

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Neurospicy. That's funny. And it was a word that a friend of mine had used that morning or the day before, the day before, and she is.

SPEAKER_10 13:20

And I was like self-described neurospics. Yes. Okay. And I was told that's a slur. So then when did that happen? That this past weekend.

SPEAKER_09 13:31

No, I mean when did it become a slur?

SPEAKER_03 13:33

I don't know. Would you use they said would you use that term to somebody who was that? I'm like, somebody who wasn't used that term to me. I don't know. I don't know what's a slur anymore.

SPEAKER_04 13:45

Yeah, you can't say that anymore. That's offensive. Everybody gets offended by everything. Don't talk.

SPEAKER_03 13:49

Right.

SPEAKER_10 13:50

It's crazy. Okay, anyway. You got cancelled. It's time to go right wing all the way. No, it's not. The grift will never.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

You can make a bank. You can go live in a tiny town that gets a bazillion inches of snow, and I'm gonna live in a little cottage with a cat, and I'm gonna eat drink tea and read books and sell my feet pics. That's what I'm gonna do. To put my kid through college. It's a good plan, damn it. I stand by this plan.

SPEAKER_05 14:22

You're gonna go with a new uh URL OFFOF Over 50 only feet?

SPEAKER_02 14:28

I'm sure it already exists. Now that you've brought it into the universe, Michael, it exists. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_09 14:34

Okay, I'm gonna tell you this right now. Neurospicy is not inherently offensive, but it's highly subjective. Many people with ADHD or autism love it. They find it empowering, lighthearted, and a warmer, less clinical way to describe themselves than neurodivergent. Other people who cannot get over themselves, I'm adding that, dislike it because they feel it trivializes or infantilizes the very real struggles associated with their diagnosis. This is like me saying, Don't say bald. I'm offended.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

We say nothing. No, no, no, no. That's right. It's more like that. It's more saying you are um, I don't know. I'm bald chromedome.

SPEAKER_09 15:19

Yeah. I mean, I'm a I got I got a I got a bald goddamn head. And you know what? It's my head. And if I want to talk about it a certain way, and you don't like the way I talk about my head, you can stop listening to me.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

I am the queen of self-deprecation, though, so yeah.

SPEAKER_09 15:36

Well, yeah, I'm not you're not the only one. I'm 12 months pregnant.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

I've been saying Oh my god, again? Those turn babies.

SPEAKER_09 15:47

No, that's a beer baby. Oh beer babies, huh? Probably sausage baby. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Okay. We see Father P. He has found his way back. And Utrud's looking better. He's up, he's walking around, and Father B's like, hey, Brita has struck again.

SPEAKER_09 16:05

And you skipped a couple of scenes with happened.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

No, I didn't. Oh we did the we did the horse, we did the they're burying the horse and the boat and everything. Bolt. Ron trying to comfort her and she's like, fuck off. Uh oh yeah.

SPEAKER_09 16:20

Well now Utrecht tells Utrid tells them about Father P and he's all like messed up. Then Utrud's like, we're gonna go get her. And then we see her like right on the hill overlooking uh York. So well, meh. Then we get to see Bullcutt and Ed talking about finding Brit Brita and Dick Dastardly and how Elfweird will take the news of Dick's dastardliness.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

It's so funny because he's like they they kind of do a little exposition here, and then he's like when he's the when they're talking when Bullcut and Edward are talking and talking about Utrud looking for Breda, and then he goes, and uh Ethelhelm, is he still a pain in my ass? And they're like, Well, there's rumors he's going south. Ah, right into my ass. All right. So then he's like, Can Father P travel? Nope, leaving him here. Um, we're gonna go south, take care of Helm, because he's gonna go to Winchester. Then he's like, this this plan changes a lot during this episode.

SPEAKER_09 17:28

That taking notes was like, and then they did this, and then they didn't do that, but they did this, and then they didn't do that, but they did this.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

Then he's thinking about it.

SPEAKER_09 17:37

Then you're on scene six, it's like, oh my god, nothing happened.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

Then he's like, has anybody told Weird that his dad's kind of a dick? Is it his dad or his nephew? Or is it who his grandfather's grandfather is a dick? And I'm like, don't you think that kid knew what his grandfather was up to? That's the thing. I thought he did, but I don't think he knows.

SPEAKER_09 17:58

Because Dr. Mr. House is so good at poisoning the minds of the people around him.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

They believe him and lining the pockets, too.

SPEAKER_09 18:06

I mean and I figured out why he's so fucking convincing.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Oh.

SPEAKER_09 18:10

It's because he has a very quiet voice and he never fucking blinks. He never blinks.

SPEAKER_06 18:18

He has never blinked. His eyes always remain open.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

I think he's just got other eyes painted on his eyelids, and then he just blinks really fast. You can't tell. That's my take.

SPEAKER_06 18:31

I haven't noticed that. And these really fancy goggles that have eyes on them. I've been asleep for a decade.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

Can we get some of those from the president? They're pretty they're pretty effective. Can we get some of those so we at least looks fucking awake? Anyway.

SPEAKER_09 18:49

No, we should drop him from a very tall building.

unknown 18:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

I'm on board. Um, now we're canceled.

SPEAKER_09 18:59

Sorry, no one's gonna care about that.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

That's true.

SPEAKER_09 19:02

Anyway. Uh Utrid comes back having failed to find having failed to find Brida. He is also it's raining and he's wearing a thing on his head. I couldn't help but notice that he is in fact wet.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

I'm wet!

SPEAKER_09 19:16

He is wet.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

But then he goes, get Ud get Udrid. I have an idea of what to do about Stiora. Yeah, this is Ed and and um Mulcud still, right? What to do about what to do with a problem like Ephrawitch. Air's not good, things aren't great. Get Udrid. I have an idea of what to do with Sthiora.

SPEAKER_09 19:38

Who comes back, is like, I don't have anything for you. He's like, Yes, but I might have something for you. Why don't we give your sister the place? She can be lady of Eferwitch. Efferwish. And I'll But she but does she have to be baptized? She won't do that shit. And Edward's like, no, I already had that done a while ago. Yeah, she was a baby when we did that. She had no choice. Oh my god. And I noticed it made no difference. She's still a dame.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

But she has to be under him. And Utrud's like, good, great, perfect. I will talk to her. Um, we'll make it like an honor to see. She'll be all over. It'll be great. Woo-hoo. All good. This is what happens when parents make decisions on behalf of their children.

SPEAKER_08 20:24

Yeah, let them make those decisions.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

This is an adult person who has had children, uh, who was married, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Although she still looks like she's 17. But now we're in Macklemore?

SPEAKER_09 20:36

Macklesfield. Macklesfield in Mercia. Macklemore.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

Macklemore. Gonna put it.

SPEAKER_09 20:49

I'm not stopped before we get copyright. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

Edith and the Queen find Wynne's horse. They're at the rent fair. You can tell because there's chickens.

SPEAKER_09 20:57

Well, let there was chickens. That was a proper rent fair, but here's my problem. How do they just know, oh, that's her horse? Millions of horses. Well, it's like wandering into one parking lot in, let's say Houston and going, Oh, look, it's grandpa's car. No, you didn't you didn't fucking find that.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Okay, much like a horse, much like a car has a license plate that would help you identify it. Do horses have license plates? Hang on. You're not letting me finish. I don't want to know. Okay. Horses don't have license plates. However, what they do have, so if you look in, so let's say you see a car, you're in the parking lot, and you're like, I don't know which one is Uncle Fred's. So you kind of look in the windows and you go, Oh, look, there's Uncle Fred's shit. So I'm guessing when shit was on the back of that horse, like she had a blanket or a certain saddle or something like that.

SPEAKER_09 21:48

Well, okay, I hadn't considered that. I I was thinking, like, was there a rust spot on that horse that's identifiable? Does it say L F W Y N on the horse's? Ass.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

Also, horses are pretty individual. I mean, it could have had markings of some sort that you recognize, maybe a dark patch on a hoof. Who knows? Who knows?

SPEAKER_09 22:10

I think maybe that you have a more pre a better relationship with horses than I appreciated previously.

SPEAKER_02 22:18

I am terrified of horses. Okay, so that was wrong.

SPEAKER_09 22:23

They're doo-dooby.

SPEAKER_02 22:25

I mean, there's brown ones, and there's black ones, and there's white ones, and then there's spotty ones, and then and there's some gigantic ones, draft horses like Clydesdales, that are just scary as fuck. Okay. Yeah. Okay, Start Run Fair. Wins walking through the market, looking at all the stalls, looking at the, you know, the steampunk booth, and looking at the the the turkey leg stand, and and you know, she's hungry.

SPEAKER_09 22:52

Snickerdoodle.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

Yes. She finds a sand dollar in a box that looks like food, so she decides she's gonna steal it. Is it a sand dollar? I don't know. I think it's bread. I think it's booky. It looks like a pita loaf. Like a little pita.

SPEAKER_05 23:07

Mike, what's your thought? I'd say pita loaf. Damn it.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

Like a little unleavened, unleavened loaf of some sort, like a fried. I don't know. Who knows? Again, speculating. Eileen's on fantasy land today. So we're just gonna do make up shit. Why not?

SPEAKER_09 23:22

Well, there's no there's no better adjudicator than our than our producer. Then I'm not gonna go searching for a picture of things cookies.

SPEAKER_05 23:31

Although I will say now now upon contemplation, it did look like a big Snickerdoodle.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

It did look like a sugar cookie. Yeah. Big sugar cookie. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 23:40

Well, you're probably more right than I am, though, because the likelihood of it being a cookie.

SPEAKER_02 23:44

Did they have cookies in ninth century England? I don't think so. I'm pretty sure they did not have Snickerdoodles for sure.

SPEAKER_05 23:50

And if they did, it would have been called the biscuit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

No, it probably would have been called the because that's how they talked back then, and nobody knows what the fuck it is. But they said. Correct. That's how they talked. All right. So they find the horse, she's walking around, she grabs the bread, um, and then like a guy find, you know, catch kind of catches her, and um, so she puts it back and he grabs it and takes it to her, right? And kind of charms her. He's Gladwin of Mercier. Everyone's gonna be. Thank God you got his name.

SPEAKER_09 24:25

I was gonna call him Broadcloth for some reason. I couldn't remember his name.

SPEAKER_02 24:31

I wrote it down because I'm like Gladwin. He made that name up, right? It's just Dennis. All right. It's a Dennis. All right, Erend Boy for her. And she's like, leave me alone. And he's like, No, no, I'm with Kinliff. I'm like, ah no, it's a trap. It's a trap. She's so stupid.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

I knew it was a trap because he's here.

SPEAKER_09 24:52

Why would Kinliff have a man do his work for him? Wouldn't he just go after her on his own? He's not a wealthy man, so he didn't hire someone.

SPEAKER_02 25:00

They go into a crowded tavern, she's got the bread, and there's Beard Boy.

SPEAKER_09 25:07

Also, it should be meant it should be pointed out that Mom and Edith are right behind them as they go into the pub or inn or public house, whatever you call it.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_09 25:21

Like 20 feet. And they're like, Where is she? Where is she?

SPEAKER_02 25:24

She just fucking went in the So they confront, they interrupt the kidnapping, basically. And the queen comes forward and he's like, Look, keep your silver, we're taking win. He's pissed. But he acts pissed, but he smiles, and I'm like, oh no, he's up to something. He's up to something sneaky.

SPEAKER_09 25:44

The thing is, he had already been up to something.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

And I'm like, the younger girls are too cocky. And they get to the horses, and their guard is dead. They're like, oh, Ferk. Well, shit.

SPEAKER_10 25:59

Um Ferk indeed.

SPEAKER_02 26:01

Ferk indeed. Cut to Steora. Rog is trying to see her, and Utrud's with her, and he's like, tells her about the plan. He's like, Ed's gonna give you what was it again? Effawitch. And all you gotta do is pledge allegiance and forgiveness.

SPEAKER_09 26:17

I can't forgive. He just made you stab my husband to death. Am I supposed to get over that?

SPEAKER_02 26:24

I am a 20-year-old young person who just lost the quote, love of a laugh. So she is upset. She is upsetti spaghetti. If you have ever dealt with a breakup at that age or grief at that age, holy crap. Yeah, I it is literally thunderballs.

SPEAKER_09 26:42

Storm thunderballs. I of the sky weather man.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

She sees through though. She's like, I'd be a sitting duck. And he's like, no, just take the offer. Cut to the women sitting around or their own little campfire. So the three women are sitting around a little they're not, they don't have a fire, do they? They're just kind of sitting around on logs.

SPEAKER_09 27:00

They may have had a stick on fire, but they didn't have a proper fire fire like the boys did.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

The boys are, you know, Beard and Handsome Boy are sitting over there. And they're the women are trying to figure out who kidnapped him. They're like, who does this guy work for? Who the fuck is this guy?

SPEAKER_07 27:16

And then they're like, oh, mom all of a sudden goes, Oh, oh, what a college woman. It's Ethelhelm. Yes. And then she's like, Don't worry, girls, I'm pecking.

SPEAKER_09 27:28

And then she pulls off her dress and there's a dagger tied strapped to her leg. She pulls it out, and then she's like, and I know how to use it.

SPEAKER_07 27:38

And she goes, Eh.

SPEAKER_02 27:41

She pulls it in both hands and just pushes it and then twists it and then pulls up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 27:49

And then the two girls sit across from her like, you fucking dork. But that's it.

SPEAKER_09 27:54

They start laughing. And and they're laughing enough for the guys to notice, and they're like, What's going on over there? And so I don't know if it was part of the show, or she just got really upset, but Elfman started crying. And all the while, all I could think was, You've got a knife. Why do you still have bindings? Why do you still have bindings? Why are your bindings not cut? Did you cut your bindings? There's bindings, cut the bindings. Did they have bindings? The binds were all tied up.

SPEAKER_05 28:20

The queen and Wyn were tied up, their hands were tied up. For some reason, Edith's hands were not tied. Why not? Why did they do this so poorly?

SPEAKER_02 28:29

Nobody'll notice. It went by very fast, I'm guessing. Nobody else just dissects this like we do.

SPEAKER_10 28:36

I guess not. But I was concerned. You've got a knife, cut your bindings. Oh no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

Then we go to Sterline in Scotland. And Helm riding towards Constantine. Cut to Hagrid and Wortman, or whoever he is, chatting in the castle. They're like, you know what? We should just stay here, kiss asses, and then go home. I'm just like, that's a good plan, man. Just get out of town. Helm gets there, gets weapon checked, and this is where we get the nipple.

SPEAKER_10 29:14

He just he comes out of a room with three women. I didn't count.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

I saw at least two boobs.

SPEAKER_09 29:21

Yeah, they were on the same person, which is but I think there were two other bodies besides his and the one whom the nipples belonged to. They say that in such a weird way. Like she had like nipples in her possession.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

Yeah, she did, though.

SPEAKER_09 29:37

No, they were on her. They're part of her. In her possession, it seems like she had a small case, like a clutch just filled with nipples.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

Well, we all do. Why? We have a little case that we keep our nipples in. Spare nipples? You didn't know this? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:51

You think we keep the same nipples our whole life?

SPEAKER_10 29:54

Oh my god. I need to see how much. Those things get used up, baby. I gotta go talk to my wife. All this time, it's been a lie. I thought they were the same nipples. You get them like from like you ordered contact lenses, you get a supply that they last 30 days a set, and you gotta throw your nipples away because they wear out and you can't see through them or whatever the fuck. 1-800 nipples.com. God damn, I think that's actually a phone number. All right. Prescription nipples?

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Constantine's getting jiggy and with the nipple girls. He's like, okay, what you here for? Where's my gift? He's like, mm, no gift.

SPEAKER_06 30:40

You didn't bring me anything. I should kick square the ghoulies.

SPEAKER_07 30:44

Did you what? I should kick you square in the ghooulies. Oh. But instead, I will throw it away and listen to your story.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

He's like, well, does the treaty still stand? And Helm like immediately again shh just stirring shit up. And Constantine doesn't, to his credit, doesn't fall for it.

SPEAKER_09 31:06

No, he's not, he's not swayed by uh uh uh Dr. Mr. House dickast lease charm. Right.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

He's like, why would Ed send an ambassador who knows nothing and has nothing? Does he did he just send you to get your head cut off so I could send it back to him? Yes, he came, gave the message. Here's the head.

SPEAKER_09 31:29

I'm supposed to put a head in, apply the label, and wait for FedEx to pick up.

SPEAKER_02 31:36

No. What would they have?

SPEAKER_09 31:38

Courier, man on horse carrying head in box.

SPEAKER_02 31:41

Hmm. Yeah. Or leather sack. You have to pay for the you have to pay extra for the wooden box. The standard rate is leather bag.

SPEAKER_10 31:51

The uh did you want the character on your seven head my lord? Do you want to add a gift card?

SPEAKER_09 31:58

Please take love and kisses, Constantine.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_09 32:03

So House claims that Edward wants to come up through Scotland, up to Scotland through Northumbria, and uh he also claims that Edward would have Wessex believe it was Danes that killed his wife, which is all this is lies, it's lies, it's lies, it's lies. And then I noticed there were two dogs on either side of the throne. So I wrote Puppies!

SPEAKER_03 32:23

Yes, I did the same thing. I'm like, woo, goo-poo!

SPEAKER_02 32:26

It's like greyhounds or something, or whippets. They're very skinny dogs.

SPEAKER_09 32:31

Yeah, but they're large but skinny, yes. And he's called skinny dogs. He wants Elfweird to be king and uh proposes a marriage pact where Constantine gets to marry Elfwyn.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Right. And he's like, I have no interest in making kings. Why should I do this? Then he says, Well, you'll get let me think, mmm, 50% of Marcia's profits from the lands.

SPEAKER_03 32:56

Does that sweeten it enough?

SPEAKER_06 32:58

Leon Fartl. As is Elfwyn. If you know what I mean. You fuck creep.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

He's like, Edward's dangerous. He wants to unite the kingdoms. This is a good plan. And he's like, uh Constantine says, uh, I'll think about it.

SPEAKER_09 33:15

But you've intrigued me, which is a fun thing to say to someone. We cut back to the the the woods where Beard and Broadcloth, whatever his name are, are planning to kill the they're talking audibly about let's kill the ladies in the night.

SPEAKER_02 33:29

We can't leave them alive, they're too powerful. What are we gonna do? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 33:32

So the women are like, well, Aylesmith goes, they are planning to kill us. They are they should know that we are not weak. And I have a sword. Look at how big it is.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

That dagger, yes. So Wynn stands up and she's like, I have to. I don't have a polite word for it. I'm like, shit.

SPEAKER_09 33:53

You know, it is opportunities like this where I get to share with you euphemisms for taking a dump. Are you ready? Oh yes, yes. Here we go. Here. I have to drop a stink pickle. I have to leave a yard cigar. I have to make a butt potato. Elfwind stands up and says, My food lease is up. I need to take the Browns to the Super Bowl. I need to build a log cabin in the pond. I need to release my inner turmoil. I am presently bingo stamping my shorts. Bingo stamping. I need to separate the art from the art.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 34:39

Gotta straighten out a donut. Keep going.

SPEAKER_08 34:46

That's the sound of a princess.

SPEAKER_02 34:49

Saying those things. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 34:51

Yeah. Instead, she said, I should have a fish.

SPEAKER_02 34:58

So handsome boy says, Fine, go.

SPEAKER_09 35:01

I'll take you off to the woods to uh Well, there was a suggestion that she should just pee near that tree. And Edith is like, let her be seen.

SPEAKER_07 35:10

Oh, happens to Betsy.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

So while she's off in the woods peeing, Edith and the Queen decide to act, right? They sneak up. How? How did she sneak up behind him? There are dead leaves everywhere. But there are dead leaves everywhere. He heard her coming.

SPEAKER_09 35:27

He had to have. Well, no, because he was busy talking to Edith and he stood up at one point to confront her. And so there was a lot of da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da back and forth, which interrupted the sound of Ayleswith and her burning log walking up to him and smoking him in the face. Right.

SPEAKER_10 35:46

Oh my. Then they attack.

SPEAKER_09 35:50

So Well, beard attacks. Hands on the beard attacks. Does nothing.

SPEAKER_02 35:55

Right. So they attack, and it's so the dude is on top of Edith and he's choking her. There was a lot of choking in this. There was a lot of choking. Something's gotta fetish. Something. No feet the last time, so I just and the queen stabby stabs him in the neck. And I'm pretty sure she had a really good time.

SPEAKER_09 36:22

At least orgasm, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:24

I'm thinking she really likes it.

SPEAKER_09 36:27

She has she's like, oh, what power I've had!

SPEAKER_02 36:32

And I'm like now, doesn't this she's the all the Christian lady, right? This breaks at least one commandment. I know this for a fact. Yeah I mean just saying. But she really likes it. So the boy comes back, handsome boy comes back, and she's like, get out of here, right? Or I'll fuck you up too. That was so fucking stupid. Because he grabs a horse, gets on it, picks up Elfwin, sh throws her over the horse and rides away. And mom's like, Oh fuck, I didn't think about that.

SPEAKER_09 37:04

But I didn't kill that guy. Remember that time I killed that guy?

SPEAKER_02 37:08

Killed that guy. Yeah. We're gonna hear about this a lot. So back to Edward and Bullcut talking about the plan with Stiora, and it turns out Edjafu has been told to basically fuck or been told to fuck off, or she's She has decided to fuck off. Right. That's what it is.

SPEAKER_09 37:28

She says she's sparing him the trouble of sending her away because uh she's Purger.

SPEAKER_02 37:36

She's Purgante. Yeah, and yeah, Purgante.

SPEAKER_09 37:39

And he's like, How about rather that there can't be any more bastards? And she's like, Yeah, that's why I'm leaving. And and she's like, No, no, no, no. Yes, I'm leaving. And he goes, How about instead we get married?

SPEAKER_02 37:50

Mm-hmm. Because he thinks this is divine intervention.

SPEAKER_09 37:53

No, Ed, you just have problems keeping it in your trousers.

SPEAKER_02 37:56

Father Groovy Pants marries them. He is very excited about this.

SPEAKER_09 38:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:01

And Weird sees through the French doors, like the they have the scroll-cut French doors kind of thing. He sees them getting married and storms off. He's like, ugh.

SPEAKER_09 38:09

Well, he busts in first.

SPEAKER_10 38:11

He's like, what the fuck are you doing? My mom's barely cold. Right. He's like, You're gonna replace me too.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Storms off. Anyway. So he sends Father Boozy to comfort him.

SPEAKER_09 38:22

Whatever the fuck that means. Oh, that's a couple scenes down. Anyway, Store sets by her pile of dirt next. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 38:29

And then I was like, oh, they buried the entire boat and the horse.

SPEAKER_09 38:35

This is where I noted in my notes that I'm bored.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

She puts the hammer necklace on the mound and she's letting him go.

SPEAKER_09 38:40

That's what's I don't know. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Real quick back here. Got a question? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 38:46

Why did she take the necklace if she's just gonna give it right back to him?

SPEAKER_02 38:49

I I think she was trying to hold on to him. I thought this was like her letting him go. That was my thought. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 38:56

That lasted 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

Yep. And then there's a drone shot of the mound, which is interesting.

SPEAKER_09 39:01

Yeah, they didn't have drones back then. They didn't even have gunpowder.

SPEAKER_02 39:04

They had birds though. Maybe they strapped a camera to a bird. They could hold it. They could grip it by the husk. We'll put it inside the coconut. All right. So cut to weird pouting at the Renfair and throwing rocks at something.

SPEAKER_10 39:20

Yeah, it's a bad man. Marry that woman can't.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

Father Cosby comes by and tells him he's been tasked with coconut.

SPEAKER_09 39:31

You said Cosby.

SPEAKER_02 39:35

No, we're not doing Cosby.

SPEAKER_09 39:38

You can't do the Bill Cosby voice anymore.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

That'll get you get you know what that is? That's a slur.

SPEAKER_09 39:45

I mean, it used to be a comedian.

SPEAKER_02 39:48

I know. Anyway. Now he's a uh rapist. Uh-huh. There goes my childhood. Um, and he's like, Your dad loves you.

SPEAKER_10 39:58

He doesn't mind your dad loves you.

SPEAKER_09 40:01

Uh can't be fat Albert either.

SPEAKER_02 40:03

No. No, because they called him Fat Albert. That's a slur. Just like school in the summertime. No class. No class. He's like, Dad didn't love me. He doesn't want me to be kind, and he didn't love my mom.

SPEAKER_09 40:22

Look at my hair. Obviously, he he doesn't love you.

SPEAKER_03 40:27

Oh my god, you beat me to that. I made that joke like way later on. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 40:35

So I wrote here, uh I wrote Prince Valiant wants to fuck off and he wants the priest to come with him to avoid trouble. Right? Prince Valiant. Prince Valiant. He is boring. But the funny thing is they've cut his bowl cut into a widow's peak, which is wild to me. Anyway.

SPEAKER_09 40:55

We're gonna put this wig on you, lad. Do you mind?

SPEAKER_03 40:58

Yes, I'm sick. Do you see me? I look like the fifth fucking beetle. My head is a knob. My hair doesn't move. It's 3D printed. How did you do that?

SPEAKER_08 41:12

Well, one of the lads at the shop knocking out in an afternoon, and now it fits your head, knob head.

SPEAKER_02 41:20

He wants to go see his dad, right? He knows he can find out granddad.

SPEAKER_07 41:25

Grandad, dad.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

Oh, granddad. I keep saying dad. He knows okay. He wants to go find his grandad. And father Groovy's trying to urge him to stay. He's he's like, I'm not Helm's man, you know? And Weird's like, hmm, are you sure about that?

SPEAKER_09 41:43

Oh, yeah, I have a comment about that. We'll get to it.

SPEAKER_02 41:46

Steora is being like pumped by Udrid. She's like, come on, it's gonna be great. And pride is what led Brita to the darkness. You should really be happy and just stay at home and be happy and pregnant and barefoot and don't worry about nothing, baby. And uh Brita's uh or she's like not buying it. Uh-uh. Then we cut to Brita, who is watching Nights from the Bushes.

SPEAKER_09 42:15

Yeah. So just for a moment. I thought you were gonna say I thought you were gonna say Brita is watching Night Court.

SPEAKER_02 42:22

Remember Nightcourt? I loved Night Court.

SPEAKER_09 42:28

I was hoping that would be what she did. Instead, she kills those guys.

SPEAKER_02 42:33

I'm hearing the song in my head. Mike says, just a minute. What are you doing, Michael?

SPEAKER_05 42:39

She killed one of them and sent the other back as a messenger.

SPEAKER_09 42:42

Oh, you're right. But we don't know that yet because uh Stero goes in to see Ed and she says, No, I'm not gonna kneel. I'll do whatever I have to do. And Ed's just like, well then you and all your followers need to leave Ephrowitch by nightfall. And then he starts yelling. He's like, get me Rog Baldr, and I'll make him lord. Or whoever's next, and then the next and the next and the next.

SPEAKER_03 43:08

And Utra just like I just want to put somebody in charge and fucking leave this fucking place. That's all he wants to do.

SPEAKER_09 43:14

That's all he wants to do. They filmed him up his nose so he looked like a maniac.

SPEAKER_02 43:18

It's that citizen cane lighting.

SPEAKER_09 43:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:20

Okay. Then we get a Renfair goat. That's a nice touch. They rented a goat for the Renfair. That's awesome. They're like, we need to upgrade the Renfair. Let's get goat. Goat's good. I know a guy with a goat. Uh Utrid tells Stiora Ed is giving Ephrawitch to Rog. She's like, I don't give a fuck. People are gonna follow me. So don't make me do the things that you will not. That was a good one. You know, you'd never give up. I'm like, and basically she just hands him his ass about his loyalty to Alfred. It's quite beautiful, honestly.

SPEAKER_09 43:50

Yeah. Stiora speaks a lot of truth in these two episodes. She does. Brita does then we see Brita draw on those soldiers, and then young Udrid says. That Brita won't listen to him either. And then we discover the murdered soldier. The guy's like, she said to meet you. She said to me meet her at Lloydus or Leeds as we know it. Right. Which is where they were born and raised by Earl Ragnar. 150 episodes ago.

SPEAKER_02 44:23

Where their fire happened that Utre got blamed for.

SPEAKER_09 44:26

That our Earl Ragnar did that really awesome thing in his pajamas and a helmet. That was really fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_02 44:32

That was pretty awesome.

SPEAKER_09 44:33

Anyway, U tries to convince him to forgive her and himself.

SPEAKER_02 44:38

Utrud's like, no promises.

SPEAKER_09 44:41

Musical sting indicates a point of no return.

SPEAKER_02 44:44

Mm-hmm. Rides off, Sterough watches him leave.

SPEAKER_09 44:47

And then back to Scotland?

SPEAKER_02 44:50

Yeah, with Wingnut and Helm.

SPEAKER_09 44:53

This is funny, actually.

SPEAKER_02 44:55

This is where Helmfield goes at. He's like, wait a minute. You're the guy from Bed Bath Beyond? You're the one that Utred's worried about? You have almost as bad a haircut as my fucking grandson.

SPEAKER_10 45:08

Yeah, I imagine someone. And he puts his arms straight out and up. Different. Yes. Your head is also a knob. Cut to Utrud riding across the plains. Well, Brita digs vigorously with her hands.

SPEAKER_02 45:27

What? I thought she was digging through like Ragnar's grave. I didn't know what she was doing. We cut to no Utrid's having all his his flashbacks. This is Utrid's flashbacks to uh his time in Leeds. And they had a POV camera from his POV. Has this happened before? Have they done POV? I was gonna say this is weird because they don't normally do like shaky cam shit.

SPEAKER_09 45:56

Well, I noticed it happened uh in one other episode tonight where we saw just a little bit of JJ Abraham's action where the camera was wobbling. And it should not have been. I don't know why I said it. I don't fucking care.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

So he calls out to her. He calls out to her, and basically she dug her own her grave or his. So let's do this thing. It's a hole. She baits him about Utrid's Utrud. She doesn't want to fight her, right? So she baits him about Utrud's balls, and that's the last straw for him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 46:30

Now that's kind of funny. I gotta be honest. It was the balls that did it.

SPEAKER_02 46:36

As they're fighting, he's reliving their fondest memories as he's beating the shit out of her, trying to kill her. But he won't. I mean, he could have killed her like 30 times over.

SPEAKER_09 46:46

Yeah, he's just slashing angrily at her sword, and she's just blocking everything, and they're both crying, and it's just clang, clang, clang, clang, flash.

SPEAKER_02 46:56

And she's just like, just fucking kill me already, dude. I just want to go to the hall. I just want to see Viveka. I don't give a fuck. He's choking her, and suddenly her face turns into child Brita.

SPEAKER_09 47:08

And I was like, younger Brita, anyway. Yeah, I didn't like any of this bizarre face shit. Yeah. So he stops choking her and then he's like, I'll help you. You come with me, right? We'll work it out. Even though you're dead inside.

SPEAKER_02 47:21

Oh my god. She's begging him to kill him. She he won't do it. And he's like, Is she? I thought here, I thought right here that she was gonna kill him during this. Like she was gonna pull out a dagger now that they were close and he had helped her up. A breed a move would have been to pull a dagger and just end it, right? Yeah, it would have been kill him. That's a Game of Thrones move.

SPEAKER_10 47:43

I forgot we're watching Last Kingdom. Yeah, but wouldn't it wouldn't have surprised me at all if that had happened.

SPEAKER_09 47:48

It would have been totally within her character to do that.

SPEAKER_02 47:51

Correct.

SPEAKER_09 47:52

But that's not what happens.

SPEAKER_02 47:54

So anyway, out of nowhere, they're facing each other and sh shoot. She gets an arrow to the back.

SPEAKER_09 48:03

All the way through.

SPEAKER_02 48:05

Did it go into him too?

SPEAKER_09 48:06

I thought it may have, but I guess he pulled away at just the right second because it didn't seem piercing at all. It went straight through.

SPEAKER_02 48:12

Or her armor was or her armor kept it from the front.

SPEAKER_09 48:17

No, it came all the way out. I didn't notice. And then she dies. The arrow breaks as she falls to the ground, and then Utrid well it's Stiora who did it. We see her. And Utrid cries.

SPEAKER_02 48:30

She's like, I knew I knew you couldn't do it. So I did it. And then she just fucks off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 48:36

Then she runs off. That's the hardest Utrud has ever cried, I think, that we've ever seen him cry. And he's lost, what, four wives? And a child. Many battles, friends. Father Peerlig. Well, Bjokka died.

SPEAKER_02 48:51

Oh, Father Bjokka, right. His best friend.

SPEAKER_09 48:54

That was a little rough for him. Even Osperth, he didn't cry that hard. But Brida did.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

He cry for Os first, though.

SPEAKER_09 48:59

But Brieto was his oldest friend. So I guess that makes sense. This was a little hard to deal with.

SPEAKER_02 49:06

Well, that's what he was saying. He said, I can't kill you because we are the same. I can't kill you. We're the same. That's what he kept saying over and about anyway.

SPEAKER_08 49:12

Well, anyway.

SPEAKER_02 49:13

Then we go to Episode 8. Yeah. And remember the blurb. Upon learning of Ethelhelm's location, Utrid proposes an audacious attack. That's bad. And restore his birthright. Leeds. Northumbria. Utruds by a fire.

SPEAKER_09 49:31

Yeah, and there's a headpiece in it. He just cooked Brita.

SPEAKER_02 49:34

You cannot burn a human body in a campfire. You can't. You cannot burn a human body in a campfire. Ask Stephen Avery. Just saying.

SPEAKER_09 49:44

Wow, that's a deep cut. That is a deep cut. Damn. Um Maybe he had some like pitch or something handy.

SPEAKER_02 49:54

I don't know. And I don't honestly know whether Stephen Avery is guilty or not. The documentary was compelling that he's not, but I have no idea. I am not. I have no opinion. Chart remains of like a bones and a sword, and I said, Oh, he did the pyre thing. He didn't just bury her. But then he hears her voice.

SPEAKER_09 50:12

Yeah, and there's like a ghost Friday and he's like, and it ends up that all he hears was a it was just a fawn walking through. And then he sees we see Steor just kind of like peeking through the grass, the long grass bot, and he goes chasing after her. I'm like, what is this spooky Steero shit?

SPEAKER_02 50:30

How long has this been going on? How long has he been out there with this campfire?

SPEAKER_09 50:34

Long enough to burn a person.

SPEAKER_02 50:36

She's still in the same outfit. She looks exactly the same.

SPEAKER_11 50:40

So I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 50:42

He goes after her. She's like, look, I freed you from your curse. Siggy wasn't saved. Why should she? Then she does the true 20-year-old. Nobody has endured pain like me. Um so I'm just yeah. She's like, This looks good. Leeds is good. I'm gonna build right here. Yeah. She no longer believes in density. Density is all you've blamed density for everything. You choose everything over family, so now I'm fucking off. And he watches her and her people leave. We're gonna build right here.

SPEAKER_09 51:20

And it's gonna be we're gonna we're gonna have trees and water and uh ski ball.

SPEAKER_02 51:29

So now are we back to Bed Bath Beyond?

SPEAKER_09 51:32

Yes, we are, and Ethelhelm is standing in a in a room in the castle looking out over the coast, and Whitgar comes and he's like, There's somebody here to see you. Well, who is it? And and Ethelhelm is treating Whitgar like he's some sort of like like some sort of house help when it's Whitgar's house. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:53

It's he's a guest of this dude.

SPEAKER_09 51:56

And uh that's that's a theme that pervades this entire episode is that Ethelhelm is now the Lord of Bebenberg, and and Whitgar is kind of just there.

SPEAKER_02 52:05

He sits at the head of the table, all this other. So Weird is there to see him. No, no, the dogs like him. No, the dogs are barking at his haircut. I mean, they understand that it is unnatural. The helm and weird you know reunite and they hug, and he's like, Look, Edgy's pregnant. Um I think the king might kill you. And Weird's like, I don't think he would. Um the Danes killed mom, not him. Uh it was the Danes. And then they welcome, he turns to Father Boozy and he's like, Welcome to bed, Beth Beyond. Your debt's paid. Here's some money.

SPEAKER_09 52:45

And it was at that moment that Father Benedict realized he's a whore.

SPEAKER_02 52:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 52:51

Well, he took the money anyway.

SPEAKER_10 52:52

Yeah, but he looked at him like, oh, dude, got me. I was just used horribly. Oh, and then we have a dinner party.

SPEAKER_02 53:00

Well, no, that's fun. Mm-hmm. Helm tells them about tells Weird about Constantine marrying Wynn. And Weird's like, I just want to make sure she's gonna be okay. You're not gonna like force her to marry him, right? This is all cool. And he's like, Yeah, no, no, no, no. It's all good. We're not gonna have a war or anything. Maybe we might have a situation ship, you know, where there's some blood.

SPEAKER_09 53:27

A few not war, it's a confrontation. I had a realization that uh Ethel Helm is.

SPEAKER_02 53:33

We obliterated their arrows.

SPEAKER_09 53:35

He's a handsomer, smarter Trump. Helm is? Yeah. He's just as evil, he's just as self-serving. He only cares about himself and his family.

SPEAKER_01 53:47

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_09 53:48

He uses people, except he does pay.

SPEAKER_02 53:52

He does pay. Yeah, that's the difference. He does pay his contractors. He goes, I'm sure we're gonna beat the king, and then in turn, you're gonna be king. Or Edward's gonna be killed. So and Weird doesn't want Ed killed.

SPEAKER_09 54:07

And Benedict says something to him too. I can't recall exactly what he's all I wrote is he stands up to him. Benedict says something that was a pushback against uh Dr. Mr. House, and as a consequence, he says, I'm going to leave to pray. And in fact, he just leaves Bed Bath Beyond entirely on Gideon.

SPEAKER_02 54:26

Did who didn't a whole bunch of people see him leave? Let's be honest, it wasn't dark. He just rides out, it's really obvious. There's guys on the parapet, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_09 54:37

And they were paying attention, they were watching the dinner.

SPEAKER_02 54:39

He's like, And he does the thing where he stops and looks back.

SPEAKER_09 54:43

Anybody see me?

SPEAKER_02 54:45

I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 54:46

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 54:46

Either way, we've already got them on. All right. He looks back, goes to the left. Then they can't find Weird, right?

SPEAKER_09 54:54

Yeah, we're back at we're back in uh Eferwitch at this point. Edward learns that Elfweird's gone.

SPEAKER_02 54:59

And then it's like, what is his problem? Dude, I mean, why is he doing this shit? And Edgie's like, he's grieving. Let him be, but he's like, but Evelhelm is always like one fucking step ahead of me. Why? How? How does he know? What does he do? And she's like, he's got spies everywhere, dude, and money. What the fuck do you think he's doing? That's why he's ahead of you.

SPEAKER_09 55:22

So he decides, if I'm not mistaken, to forfeit his son. He's no longer eligible for the throne.

SPEAKER_02 55:30

Yeah, he's like, forget that one. We'll have another one.

SPEAKER_09 55:33

Yeah, but just make another baby. Wait for for House to do something, and in the meantime, build up his defenses without being uh provocative in any way. If I don't play, Ethelhelm can't win, which is not how war works, but okay.

SPEAKER_02 55:50

Well, so okay, here's where we find out the name the the titular clue. She's like, I won't advise you to give up your son, weird, for our new baby. It's just an assumption, it's a son. We don't know. It could be a girl, it could be both, it could be anything.

SPEAKER_09 56:12

Toaster oven.

SPEAKER_02 56:13

Could be a toaster oven, could be a bonus. Um set it and forget it. Ron Popeel rotisserie cooker.

SPEAKER_09 56:22

Showtime rotisserie?

unknown 56:24

Yeah. Uh huh.

SPEAKER_10 56:25

You just set it and forget it.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

Forget it. No, you go set it and and the whole audience goes, forget it. All right, Ron. Really, Ron? Show me more. That is delicious. All right. You ever see this? I could have been a QVC host.

SPEAKER_06 56:41

Look at how damp this chicken is.

SPEAKER_02 56:43

If I had had better teeth, I could have been on QVC host, I think. Mike Rowe got his start on QVC. I don't know if you knew that.

SPEAKER_09 56:50

Well, the videos are extraordinary because you have this man with the velvetyest voice who does not believe in what he's selling. Just like it's evolution.

SPEAKER_02 57:00

Oh my god, the I remember.

SPEAKER_09 57:02

I gotta sit here and talk to you for 25 minutes about selling this bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 57:06

I was living in a small town in another state, watching this at like two in the morning, because he was the overnight host, right? On QVC. And so I'm watching this. I weeping with laughter. He was describing this all in one rotating kitchen gadget holder.

SPEAKER_09 57:31

It's called a lazy Susan, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 57:33

No, it was just no, a lazy Susan's just a uh uh uh like a plate on a turntable. This was like a rotating like a caddy thing. Yes, like a caddy, yes. Okay, and so he kept trying to take out the things and use them.

unknown 57:47

They were garbage.

SPEAKER_02 57:49

And it was just, oh my god, it's so fucking I lost my shit. And so yeah, anyway, okay. Uh where are we? We are talking about. Oh, forget that son. Okay, oh, okay. So she won't advise him to give us it's an assumption that it's it's a son. So he's like, you already have three of the four kingdoms. Let our son fight for the last. Um finally, the title makes sense. So basically, Northumbria's the last kingdom.

SPEAKER_08 58:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:27

Okay. He's like, I'll give it a go. So he's changed his mind again.

SPEAKER_09 58:31

He's gonna do it. The last person to talk to him has great power.

SPEAKER_02 58:36

Again, now he's acting, he's the last person to talk to him, influences his decisions.

SPEAKER_09 58:42

I don't think Trump's weird. Can you imagine? So anyway, Elfelhelm is talking about when Elfweird is king, building a palace in London.

SPEAKER_02 58:53

London.

SPEAKER_09 58:54

London.

SPEAKER_02 58:54

The heart of what will be the unit the new United Kingdom.

SPEAKER_09 59:00

Because it's on the border between Mercia and Wessex.

SPEAKER_02 59:03

Mm-hmm. But we know he won't win because we've never heard of Elfweird of the Great, or even Elfweird the Myth.

SPEAKER_09 59:11

I have a moment here, and I paused the show and I flipped open at Wikipedia and I typed in Elfweird, and I found out that there was about 16 days where Elfweird could have claimed to be king, and he was not.

SPEAKER_02 59:23

Then I just wrote, damn, that's some bad hair, Harry.

SPEAKER_09 59:26

Um your head is a knob. And then Elhelm just like just inflates him so much. You'll be big and tall and strong and kingy and the best king.

SPEAKER_06 59:43

And look at how big your muscles are. You're such a big boy.

SPEAKER_02 59:48

Then we find out that Whitgar and Hagrid are watching them from above. They overheard everything. They make no bones about it. They just announce that they're up there. And we see Elflehem do a close-up on his hands, and he does the Arthur hand squeeze. He does Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:07

Because Whitgar's like, this is a bunch of bullshit. And then they both look up and go, Did he hear me tell you how big your muscles are going to be? I'm so mad.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:23

Anyway. Then Constantine's doing the uh fetch me a gooseboy thing, only he wants ale, from the window.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:31

Is it Christmas Ball and that was Rog. That was ragenwalder.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:36

Oh, it was?

SPEAKER_09 1:00:37

Yeah, we're back in F Witch. And uh Utrid sees him up there.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:41

He's like, look at me, I'm King Shit turned mountain, blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:44

And then Utrud runs into Pearlag, which is great. He's back to normal.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:47

They talk about Brita. She's trying to send Utrid to talk to Stear about coming back to Rum Cola.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:53

Yeah, it ain't gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:54

Man, Father P's like, maybe just let her go. How about that? And Utrecht's like, Yeah, yeah, how about that?

SPEAKER_09 1:01:01

Yeah. So Utrid goes to the pub and there's the final pharmacy panty.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:05

Yeah, there's a table.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:07

Hey everybody, you guys ready to go back to Rum Cola? And they all go, uh, no. Has nobody talked to you, dude? Yeah, some shit happened.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:19

We're going to Wessex, and Stan wants to go to see his dad. And um, they're all trying to talk him out of Rum Cola. And uh, he's like, But I need to set up a nice place for Steor to come home. If I set her room up just perfect, she'll come home for Thanksgiving. It'll be great. Your room is just the way you left a kiddle. Yeah. Finn's like, we really don't want to. So what's another idea? No one has any other ideas. Rider's approaching, it's the boy with Wynne, and Helm tells her to get off the horse, and he's like, uh, hey, handsome boy, where's Bessel? And she's just standing there smirking, like, I know where is not gonna like the answer.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:02

The Queen Mother stabbed him through the neck. Your friend is dead. And he he just kind of goes, Men I truly count as friends. Do not die so easily.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:12

Yeah, it's basically I don't like suckers and losers.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:15

Yes, that's exactly what I said. Such a trump line.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:19

It is. I mean, okay, when did this episode come out?

SPEAKER_09 1:02:22

Because 2022.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:24

Okay. Yep. All right. There you go.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:28

But it sure is perspiration.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:32

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:33

While that kind of similarity happened. Windows to see episode five. Aired on March 9th, 2022.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:46

Okay. See, 2022. I think it's a definite parallel.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:50

It's an illusion.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:52

Mm-hmm. So knock, knock, knock, penny. Knock, knock, knock, penny. It's um we see Edgy lying on her side, and Ed's getting up, and um we we hear somebody whisper, hey dude, I don't want a harsh your mallow here.

SPEAKER_11 1:03:08

I know you're with your lady and all, but your mom's here.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:13

And he's the best line in the show. He turns around and goes, prepare for a new attack. And she goes, What is it now? My mom's in town. The Danes, the Scots, yeah, somebody shorter, much more fierce. Your mother-in-law, whom you have not met. And the first thing she says is, I killed a man.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:36

Yes, yeah. They tell him about Wynne being kidnapped by him, and um Ed sends words that he wants to discuss this, right? To with Constantine? Is that right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:46

Yeah, he's gonna, he's gonna kinda he's kind of baby steps his way to solving this problem.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:52

Right. And mom's giving him shit. He's like, she's like, no, you're gonna send somebody now. But he's like, no, I'm not acting hastily. Because every time I do that, my guys get fucked up. In a way, he's right. Yes, this is actually a good plan. He's like, I don't just want to rush in there, I don't just want to react. I want to think about this. Because if I do that, I'm giving them exactly what they want. They want me to show up. That's the trap. This is what's happening. Why can't the rest of you fucking see this? And then he's like, by the way, this is my wife. She's got a baby. And this is where mom's bragging about killing basil.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:30

Yeah. Just like Bob's D character. I had to kill a man with a dad without gloves. I think she really likes having a story to tell.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:42

Yeah, because otherwise she doesn't do fuck all. Otherwise. Yeah, it's just prayers and shit. You know, she's like, I killed a guy, you guys. You don't know this about me? That's like when you have to go and introduce yourself. It's like, tell us something that most people wouldn't know about you. Kill the guy. Kill the guy. Oh my god, I'm pulling that one out at the next time I have to do that at like an event where I don't know anybody.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:07

I stabbed a man in the neck with my bare hands. I didn't have gloves on. Oh, to save a princess. How about you? Yep. Where are you from? Oh, that's neat. Cedar Rapids, huh? Kill the man with a dagger. Stabbed him right in the neck, right here, right here in the back. I wasn't wearing gloves.

unknown 1:05:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:33

So then she's then I think Edgie's like, you know what? I'm gonna give you our room so I know where the fuck you are in the castle. And then I'm we're gonna sleep elsewhere that you're not gonna know about. So then Edith and Mom are talking about offering silver, like basically getting up a posse to go find when.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:52

Yeah, you can pay someone to help you. And she's like, oh no, they should be paying me for the privilege of finding my grandfather.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:03

Then they see Finn and Sith, and they're like, I have a job for you, she says. Utrud is in the bedroom, and Edith comes in. She's talked to the guys.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:19

Nope, that's not how that goes.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:21

She knows about Rum Cola.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:23

And she's like, look, let me go find Steora. Let me talk to her. A little therapy, you know. And he's like, I'm not a good dad. I'm just not a good dad. He thinks Steora's turning into Brita, basically.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:37

Yeah, he's worried that she has had had let her bitterness take over her uh her become her primary emotion. Let's say that.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:44

Right. She's like, I don't want it to be her whole personality. I don't want that, you know, revenge to be her whole personality. So then she's like, by the way, um Will got herself kidnapped. And we're wondering if you and he's like, nope, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She offers him silver. Nope, nope. He's like, King needs to take care of this shit. Not me. I'm thinking about my own shit. You know what? Good for him. Set boundaries. So he goes out to his horse and Bullcut comes out and he's like, ah, great. You're going to find Wyn. And uh he's like, um, no, no, no, I'm not.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:27

Um, I'm I'm not doing that at all. Then Benedict shows up and he's like, the last episode happened. Here's what's going on.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:38

Mm-hmm. And and then he admits taking weird to see Helm. And he's like, I know.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:44

I'm a bad boy. I'm leaving. But where did he go? Where did where did you have to take him? Uh, someplace called Bebenbur. And at that point, Utrud goes, What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:54

Yeah, he's a guest of your nephew. What's his bucket?

SPEAKER_09 1:07:58

Well, he doesn't does he Oh, he's he went guard, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:02

That's it. Oh my god, I literally startled.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:08

That's great. So uh this changes things as you might expect. Elfwyn is now at a table with her grandfather what the hell is he?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:20

Uncle Grandfather.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:21

Grandfather, and her cousin? Brother? Cousin.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:26

The nephew?

SPEAKER_09 1:08:27

Cousin. Elfyn, Elfweird, and Elf Ethelhelm. I hate all these names. Jesus Christ. Next time we do a show, can we do show with Bob, Steve, Jim, and Gary? Please. Please. Oh my god. And not 18 Johns.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:41

Maybe we do succession. It's a different kind of royalty. Or uh the m or the mighty Rhine st the mighty gemstones, is that what it's called?

SPEAKER_09 1:08:50

Oh, that's perfect. Okay, well. Anyway.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:53

Yeah. Anyway. Wynn is at dinner and they're trying to tell her that Kane doesn't like you. He doesn't want you.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:59

Immediately poisoning her mind, like he does. And then he has a little stab at Northumbrian food.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:06

Like, here, I have some of this shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:09

You will not like it. They tell her, yeah, it's basically meat and cabbage, it looked like, or lettuce.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:16

I swear there was some Hobby Lobby plastic fruit just hanging out on one of those plates. Like what is it?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:22

You can tell because the sparkles on it.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:24

It was a weird shaped thing that was painted purple and gnobly, but no one eats a purple knobbly hole. You cut up or mash a purple knobbly.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:34

Was it on a plate or was it in a bowl?

SPEAKER_09 1:09:36

On a plate.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:37

I did not see the purple knobbly.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:39

I don't want to go back and look. There are some weird shapes.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:41

I'm not gonna. So uh they're basically saying, hey, guess what? You guess what? You're gonna be so excited about this. Are you ready? Are you sitting down? Ethelwin. You are going to marry. Wait for it.

SPEAKER_10 1:09:57

She looks at her cousin.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:00

Constantine.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:03

She's like, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:07

And Helm's like, don't care. You're gonna do it. It's a good marriage. Uh and she's like, uh, hey, weird. Uh and he's like, ah, my whole family's been disloyal to me. Don't get me started. They let me get this haircut. That was my one. And she's like, I'll kill myself. And he's like, okay, saves me a lot of trouble, honestly. If you can just do that, that would be great.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:32

Episode should have ended there.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:34

Yeah, that would have been so fucking funny. This is the she's uh in a predicament. Now here's my question. They pan back and we see her sitting at this big long table. Okay, it's a big stone table. There's benches, and on the benches are pelts. Do you think it's a like a race to see who gets to the table first to get the good pelts? Because they were like some good fluffy pelts, like give you some good cushion on them, stone benches. Then there were some like thin looking sad ass like deer hide pelts on those ends like you think there's a sign seating on the pelt table. Maybe. Maybe the better, you know, the higher up you are in the hierarchy, the better your pelts.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:15

I mean, clearly, ends of the table gets chairs. Yeah, they get chairs. And then there's bad pelt, good pelt, no pelt. I suppose unless the edges have pelts, I don't really half a pelt, like one cheek on a pelt. Yeah, that's for the like the that's gonna suck.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:34

Yeah. So Utred and Father P are chatting about what's happening, and Father P finds the whole thing amusing. Because Utrid's like, it's the gods. Father P says, it's my God, and my god doesn't want you to fail. We have a whole religious bullshit here about he's father uh father P is like, maybe you're meant to serve both gods. And he's like, Ugh, you have to take Bed Bath Beyond because that's what you've been saying for all five fucking seasons. It's your density, it's your density. You gotta find a home for your family. And I'm thinking, Utrud is so fucking full of himself, he really has like those delusions of grandeur, right? I have to take care of everybody, I have to do everything. And they argue about God and God's Well, hold on, hold on.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:24

Is it really him being full of himself, or is he just saying what we've all seen? Because every time something happens, who should help us with this problem? Honestly, sometimes he volunteers, but often he's asked. So he never gets to do his thing because he's always straightening out the problems of the royal family.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:43

True. But the reason we see all this is because we're he's the star of the show. Yeah, he's a parent. So if we went Rosencrans and Gildenstern on this, other shit's been happening. You know, clearly, I would say Edgie and Ed have had a baby or having a baby.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:59

Would really have rather just watched what Finn and and uh uh Citric had been doing.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:05

Finn and Citric, what are they up to? What are they doing? What's the thing? I wanna know. Back to Constantine and Sterline, and they're talking about Helm having win. They're like, oh great. Um let's gather the troops, we're headed to Bedbath Beyond.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:19

And we will we will continue our our trust of Ethelhelm as long as is necessary.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:26

Necessary. I liked that. Yeah. Utrud's trying to convince Ed they can take Bed Bath Beyond, and Bullcut is reinforcing Udrid's argument.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:35

Uh-huh. Then they go in the palace room, and Ed's like, I got a really terrible idea. I'm gonna disappoint everyone in this room in a different way.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:43

Yeah. What are they gonna do, Spencer?

SPEAKER_09 1:13:46

What do you mean, what are they gonna do? Who?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:48

They're gonna go to they're gonna have an agreement with Constantine. And Ben Bathion's gonna go to the Scots. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:54

Ed thinks that's his best plan. Split up Northumbria, give Ben Bathion to yes, and then he will have almost all of England, but not the northern part of Northumbria, which apparently was more than one place at a time in the past. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:11

And everyone They're basically pulling a Michigan UP thing.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:15

Kind of. Except everyone in the room looks like they just got peed on a little bit. Just a little bit. Like even Ailswith is like, you can't fucking do that. And everyone stands up to him. Utrid's like, I'm not, this cannot happen. We're not doing this. And then Aldhelm's like, uh, we're going with Utrid, and that's just not what you've done is wrong. Then Pearling shows up and he's like, No, I'm standing with Utrud as well.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:46

Even Els with a total iron I am Spartacus thing. Yeah. Else with the stuff. Everyone's stepping forward. I stand with Utrud, and I stand with Utrid.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:59

So they got a candle back from Ronda.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:06

You're not wrong, but you are mistaken. I'm like, okay, mom. Whatever that means. You're not wrong, but you're must outfit trusted Utrid, and you should too.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:18

I'm A Smith and I approve this message. Did you know I stabbed a guy in the neck? Right through the back. It was bloody. I wasn't wearing gloves.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:28

I got my hands right up in there. I I tickled his jugular. It was delightful.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:34

He did make a funny gurgle noise, I say.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:37

Edward's tapping his ring on the arm of a chair. He stands up, he's like, Hey, Ethelstan, what do you think we should do? You could be the king to face the Scots someday. What do you say? And he's like, I agree with Otrid. Of course he does, because Otrid's this fucking star of the show, and Edward is not. It's not called Edward's kingdom. And Finn mocks him. I'm like, damn.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:00

Yeah, that was a mistake. He should not have done that. Looks like things aren't going too good, Lord King. And then all of a sudden the guards knock him on his ass. They got swords up to Citrix neck. And and uh Alfred says, Alfred, oh god. Edward says, he's dead. And he's back. He says, listen, seal the doors, no one leaves. You try to leave, you'll be executed. And Haldone says, the mercy and guard will ram down the door. And Neutrant says, You're not gonna stop us. We will be gone by sunrise.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:35

That's it. Did we miss anything, Mike? How could we have possibly?

SPEAKER_05 1:16:40

No, you got it all, but I want to read you my notes for this episode. And I just highlighted each of the characters, and I said, Helm is now Dick Dastardly. Queen Mother, I killed a man with my bare hands. I was not wearing gloves. Oot forgives Brita. Surprised Bedbatheon is back in play. Styora arrows Brita and fucks off. Edward becomes considered. Edu has a baby in her. Oh Mother, you have never met. Grita. That skull in the fire. Was it aliens? And we don't know. I think Constantine was dubious.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:20

I thought no, we know what happens with Constantine.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:23

I mean, we know history knows. He's famous.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:26

Yeah, but I mean they they pulled back on that skull, and I was like, is that a skull? Because that's a really big eye socket.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:33

I think it was her headband. I don't know. I might have to go back and look at that character again, because I'm- again, I wrote it there. You cannot cremate a body in a kidfight. You can't even get hot enough.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:45

Anyway, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:47

Anyway. Uh hey, thanks so much for listening and hanging in with us on these little longer episodes while we get uh we'll we're getting through The Last Kingdom, heading towards House of Dragon, which premieres June 21st. We're so excited. Our episode will air on the 24th. Is that right, Mike?

SPEAKER_05 1:18:02

21st by the first time.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:03

That would be Wednesday. Yep. Yep. So um the 24th is gonna be a brand new, will be current and I don't know, I won't say relevant, be current, caught up up to date. Uh let us know you listen. Come to just give us a fucking email, RoyalHighnesspod at gmail.com. Don't make me start a Discord. I want to thank our producer Mike. Thanks, Mike.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:24

Quite welcome.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:25

And the fine folks over at Injured Nerves Productions. We cannot wait to do it all again next week when we will be doing episodes 9 and 10. So that will be our season finale. Um, and then after that, do we do a recap and then start? Or are we taking a week off? We don't know. No? No need no more. Maybe we can do it. We're gonna go. Right in the house of the dragon. I'm so excited. We can't wait to do it all again next week. For real. But until then, love you. Bye.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:54

Bye.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:57

Royal Highness is an injured nerds production. It is produced and directed by Mike Beegan, and is available on all podcast networks. The comments and opinions expressed here are those of the hosts and their guests, and are not affiliated in any way with Netflix or the last Indian series. If you would like to contact us, you can do so at RoyalHighnesspod at gmail.com. Thanks for listening. We hope you come back to listen again.