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Royal Highness!
OH HEY! It’s you! You found us! We are so glad you’re here. You don’t have to watch the GoT episodes before listening, but we’d love it if you did. Spencer and I look forward to creating this podcast every week and we have a blast doing it. We hope you enjoy listening to it as much as we do making it. You can email us at: RoyalHighnessPod@gmail.com. I read every email because I’m compulsive like that. ENJOY THE SHOW!~~Eileen
Royal Highness!
Episode 168 - 3 Arrows - HoD S3E6
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It’s season 3 of House of the Dragon so Eileen and Spencer are enhancing and reviewing the current episodes! So many plans are hatched and thwarted. Are Gwayne and Daeron an item? Will Adam be mad at Alyn for stealing his girl? Will Corlys survive yet again? If not will Alyn become the Full Time Hand? Will Allicent accede to Rhany? Will Heleana finish the tapestry before the next episode? Will Aemond hatch some new eggs? Confused? You won’t be after this episode of Royal Highness!
This podcast contains adult language and content and is rated 'M' for Mature. Listener discretion is advised.
You can email the hosts at: royalhighnesspod@gmail.com
Thanks to Mike Beagen for hosting and publishing this podcast.
There we go. There we go. Lieutenant God, you noticed that before we got halfway through the show there.
SPEAKER_02I wouldn't know. I wouldn't let you go, because I always keep an eye on that little guy.
SPEAKER_06We can we can go through a recap.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. That's what I'm waiting.
SPEAKER_02Alrighty. Hello. Welcome to the Royal Highness podcast, where we watch George Martin shows for the first time, while enhanced with cannabis products, and then we talk about them while we're still enhanced with cannabis products, and we're watching season three of House of the Dragon. Hello, Spencer.
SPEAKER_06Hello, Eileen.
SPEAKER_02Hello, Mike. See? I started something new. Now you're prepared. Yay! Good night, Moon. Good night, Mush. All right. Good night, Dolid.
SPEAKER_06Bye bye, bucket.
SPEAKER_02That's not in that's not in Good Nightmare. Okay, House of the Dragon, season three, episode six titled.
SPEAKER_06Good night, John Boy. Oh fuck, I'm supposed to do that.
SPEAKER_02No. Faceless Men. Let's do it again. Okay, uh Okay, House of the Dragon, season three, episode six titled Faceless Men.
SPEAKER_07Ooh.
SPEAKER_02And this has me very excited because I'm like, ooh, ooh, ooh. I was hoping we'd see how they started.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, this was not the thing. I think the Faceless Men uh Bravos had zero of a face long before this episode.
SPEAKER_02Hmm. Okay. Okay. Okay. So HBO Max says, while Heinera and Damon focus on how best to deal with Ormond, tensions among their neglected allies begin to erupt.
SPEAKER_07Where are all these fucking accents coming from? Rainera and Ormond.
unknownOrmond.
SPEAKER_07This time we talk about. No, we're not doing that. Demon focus how best to deal with Ormond. Ormond.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Recap. Rainy's like, we gotta go house to house in Tumbleton, where the Bumble Buddies live. Uh uh to root out Hightower and his dudes. Tully's camp got slowed up by Krispy Kreme. Um, and now but now Crispy and Gwen are stuck. And Crispy has some sort of like god complex, so he's gonna try to get across the river no matter what.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Okay, he's the Seleniana warriors.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Gwen's like, whatever, man, peace out. Uh we see Hightower get the note from Baratheon. Corless went to go look for the Triarchy Raiders. Because that man can't sit still.
SPEAKER_06No, he's he's a doer, he's not a watcher.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So he's like, can't sit around, gotta go. Uh but he left uh who in charge? Uh that's right. Um is gonna go to Tumbleton and who wants to go to, because that's where he heard his wife he's hanging out. Uh we see Damon finding Rain, Raina. Which one is she?
SPEAKER_06Raina.
SPEAKER_02Raina. Okay, so he finds Raina. Uh we see Helena telling Alice she thinks Aegon is still alive. He burns without fire. Does that what does that mean? Is he gonna have a fever?
SPEAKER_06Hmm, he's got a fever. And the only prescription. Smaller how bell. Amon Targaryen, I put my pants on the same way you do. Except when I put my pants on, I make gold records.
SPEAKER_02Uh we see Amon and the Witch. Uh him waking up from a he was like full chicken wing, wake chicken wing waking up about a from a dream about. Wow! Are any of my words making sense?
SPEAKER_06Some of them did. Full chicken wing waking up from a dream about okay.
SPEAKER_02Amon and the witch, he's waking up from a dream about Vagar. Right? She's like, she's gone. And Rainey's hunting uh your dragon, Rainy's hunting you. And then we see Aegon and Laris, and Aegon very gleefully killing that dude with a dragon scale, I believe. Oh, he has a dagger. Would have been cool if you stabbed him with the anyway. Alison's trying to uh help Helen escape, and Missy catches him, of course.
SPEAKER_06After four seconds of of fleeing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so Alison's like, look, I need you just. You have to have to help me. And then they're trapped. Until this episode, when they're just not. We have no explanation of how they got out of the dungeon.
SPEAKER_06I imagine what probably happened is that the guards went into their quarters, saw the big crack in the wall, pushed the crack open, and went, Oi, and pointed at them.
SPEAKER_05They showed that. They showed the guards coming in and finding them in the time.
SPEAKER_06I wrote it down. The guards find Alison and Helena. But they don't explain how they found them. I mean They just found them. They just did.
SPEAKER_02Alright, small council fighting, Missy and Damon like going back and forth. Um, then we see High Tower getting another message about the gold getting transferred, right? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then Damon telling Rainey about Aaron.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I wrote Damon. Damon telling Rainey about right, Damon, and I'm like, nope, that's not right. Listen, it's me. I'm me. Alright. Here's a coin with my face on it. That was a terrible Matt's head. Yeah, doesn't matter. I apologize.
SPEAKER_06You don't have to.
SPEAKER_02Yours is better. Yours is good.
SPEAKER_06It's just whiny.
SPEAKER_02It's just a little more high-pitched, a little more nasally. I really would like some bacon.
unknownHmm.
SPEAKER_02Say fish fingers.
SPEAKER_06Fish fingers.
SPEAKER_02That's pretty good. All right. Wait, wait.
SPEAKER_06Was that is that like uh Matt Smith Shibeleth here? Is that how you know it's the property?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. I just know that my first introduction to Matt Smith was as the doc in Doctor Who, where in the first episode he was in, he asks for fish fingers and custard.
SPEAKER_06Fish fingers and custard. I don't know if that's right or not. I've never watched that show.
SPEAKER_02That was one of my favorite seasons. Anyway.
SPEAKER_06It's got Smat Myth in it. How could it be bad?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I know. Smat Myth. Um, and he shows up at the Feast of Traitors again. We get to see that again because that was nice. Yeah. Um, and then epic theme music playing, which is what closed captioning tells me is happening.
SPEAKER_06You know, I still enjoy the theme song.
SPEAKER_02I let it play the whole way through every time.
SPEAKER_06It gets me in the mood.
SPEAKER_02So do you do anything when the big drums come in when he goes bum bum? Dude, do you like it? No, because I do the Muppet Head.
SPEAKER_03There are other people.
SPEAKER_06There are other people in the room while I'm watching the program. And if every every you know, every Monday night, around eight o'clock, I start doing the Muppet Head in the living room, people are gonna start coming over and watching for fun, and it's gonna distract me.
SPEAKER_02We have found a way to monetize this podcast.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Finally. Think of the children. For the price of a cup of coffee, you can watch me look like an ass.
SPEAKER_02You just look enthusiastic like I do, at least that's how I imagine.
SPEAKER_06I also can't do the Muppet Head without making the noise.
SPEAKER_03Oh I go boom, boom. Oh my god, it's eight minutes, we haven't gotten anywhere.
SPEAKER_02All right, epic theme music playing. Yes, we have. We did the whole recap. Are you kidding me? This is this is better than most of the things. It is actually. Okay. Oh, we have a misty forest with some guys walking through the forest.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. They're not riding a horse or running.
SPEAKER_02Nope. It's crispy and his boys. And some of as one of his guys comes back, he's like, so we found the Tully's camp up ahead, but there's something weird going on.
SPEAKER_06That should have been the signal to not.
SPEAKER_02You should come take a look, and I'm like, It's a trap. This sounds fishy.
SPEAKER_01Um, it's a trap. Oh, it's a trap. Definitely a trap.
SPEAKER_02But they're like, ooh, so curious. Hey, let's go see.
SPEAKER_03I want to know. Um I want to know how they got them to look dead. Uh, I think they were probably already pretty beat up by then. I guess so. But they have to be a little bit of a few.
SPEAKER_02Because these are the guys they sacrificed. These are the guys they sacrificed. So, anyway, so there's lots of dead guys and cows, and he's like, Wow, there's a lot of rivermen. It's like we don't know who killed them. And then suddenly Crispy's like, Mmm, this doesn't look great, and he kicks a guy, and it's an ambush.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, these men didn't fall here.
SPEAKER_02Mm-mm.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Well, I mean, they're on the ground.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So it was, yeah, they were kind of faking dead. That's a pretty good thing.
SPEAKER_06But that's how you get down on the ground as you fall.
SPEAKER_02Well, you can get down slowly. Get down on it. Get down on it.
SPEAKER_06Uh, yes. And so it's a trap. And this is a great fight scene. Um, there's lots of splurching. Oh, the slurping was out of control. Uh, someone got a mace in the face. That was fun. Two! Two times. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Two times, two mace in the face.
SPEAKER_06I mean, it got stuck in that one guy's face, and he's like, fucking sword.
SPEAKER_02Nope. Splurch. Ah, punch. Hack, hack, hack. You know, it was fun. It was a good one. Swords clanging.
SPEAKER_06It's been a while since we had a good bloody fight scene.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and at the end of it.
SPEAKER_06This is a good one.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, this was a good one. This had lots of splurching, lots of um really good special effects.
SPEAKER_06Good choreography, too. I mean, they really knew how to get from one kill to the next effectively.
SPEAKER_02But that was it one camera? No.
SPEAKER_06There were a couple, but it was okay, it was well done. You know, it wasn't confusing either. That's another thing. It wasn't it wasn't just Utre slaying loads and loads of similarly clothed Danes. They all look the same. Kill everyone!
SPEAKER_02How do you know which guy is yours? You can't possibly know every one of your guys' faces. And when they all look like Vikings, how the hell? How do you know?
SPEAKER_06How do you because they they glow green if they're good guys or red if they're bad guys?
SPEAKER_02You think they have to like flip a coin and then go shirts and skin shirts and skins?
SPEAKER_06Look, mate, we can't all be wearing the same color armor. Would you do me a favor and put a twig in your hair? And then I will start marauding all those with twig hair.
SPEAKER_03You know, it just doesn't sound like such a bad idea.
SPEAKER_02No, if you put you have your own guys put twigs in their hair so you know not to splurge them.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, in an unpleasant way. But you do that beforehand.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_07You don't call a truce and be like, whoa, I've hit me mates. Hold on.
SPEAKER_02I'm sure you've hit some of yours. So let's think about this. We need a way to differentiate.
SPEAKER_07Get one of the net jerseys from the box and put it over your armor. Everyone wearing the blue nets is on one side. And when we're all dead, put them back in the box so they can be washed for the next gym class. I've nightmares about the net jerseys.
SPEAKER_02The smell, just the smell. We didn't have those.
SPEAKER_06They did not when I was a kid. It was a every so often thing they would come out.
SPEAKER_02Like it was literal shirts and skins.
SPEAKER_06No, we couldn't do skins. Uh this this was in this was in the 90s. Skins was out of out of that was out of pocket. 80s was different, man. 80s was different. I would not have gone skins either because I'm shaped like a pear.
SPEAKER_02It didn't matter, man. It did not matter. It was all luck of the draw. You count it out. And of course, girls didn't have to participate.
SPEAKER_06That's really fucking fair.
SPEAKER_02Anyway, moving on. Anyhow. Okay, so anyhow, it appears that Crispy has uh won and he's yelling, We light the way. But all of a sudden, as they're all kind of going, Yeah, whoo man, I'm fucked up, but uh we won. Yeah, they realize they are completely surrounded.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's it's uh the old fella whose name I can't recall.
SPEAKER_02I I wrote him as the old man.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, the old guy and Oscar Tully. I'm gonna find out who that young fella is. Um and the old fella, you mean? Yeah, did I say was that what I said? What did I say?
SPEAKER_02No, you said the young fella. Because you were talking about Oscar Tulla. Oscar Tully. Tuscar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically, uh Crispy's like, hey, I got an idea. Uh why don't you guys and me just fight? And no, first he's like, uh, hey, uh, your guys are gonna die too if we do this. I mean, some of them anyway. I mean, we're pretty tired, and there's only like what, 14 of us left. But we're gonna put up a good fight. So some of your guys are gonna die. So uh what do you say? Uh instead, we do me against the two of you. Basically a child and an old man.
SPEAKER_06Um by the way, the old man's name was Roderick Dustin.
SPEAKER_02Roderick Dustin, is it now? That sounds like a character in one of the Harlequin romances that I read in this.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, this it sounds like Roderick Thrustmeat came out of the castle door.
SPEAKER_02They weren't that blatant about the names.
SPEAKER_06Sir Thrustmeat, he donged Dongley down the stairs, testicling both ways.
SPEAKER_03Did you see Chuck Tinkle has a new book? Oh my god! Is it potted in the butt?
SPEAKER_02No, no, no, it's not actually, it's got a real name this time, but he has some that are that actually have names, but anyway. So as he's saying, as he's saying, yeah, let's just go, the most realist Game of Throne moments in so fucking long happened, and I was like, yeah, shot with arrows.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Shoot, shoot. He's like, One in the face, and then shoot in the face, and then floppy flop.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that was the woman who talked about during the song they sang in the woods about sticking a dragon up someone's ass. She finally she got to do something. Um she has a name, as it turns out. And it's uh Alison Alison Blackwood. Doty Doty. There you go. I don't name these characters because I would have named it.
SPEAKER_02I don't either.
SPEAKER_01I would have named her Strong Thrust Meat. Is that what I said? Strom thrust meat.
SPEAKER_02Is that the is that the uh porn version of Strom Thurman?
SPEAKER_06No, there is no porn version of Strom Thurman.
SPEAKER_02There is now because I thought of it.
SPEAKER_06That's the one exception to Rule 34, I think.
SPEAKER_02I think there is Strom Thurman porn out there.
SPEAKER_06Centenarian South Carolinian racist senator? Who would make porn of that?
SPEAKER_02There's anybody out there. Okay, this is my challenge. No, we're not commissioning Strom Thurman. No, I'm not. I'm not commissioning it. I quit the show. But if you find a if you find some, send me a link to Royal HighnessPod at Gmail.
SPEAKER_06I'm not ruining my search engine to find that for you.
SPEAKER_02Did you I don't want to do, I want one of our listeners to do.
SPEAKER_06That's fine. Okay. That's mean and horrible what you've just done. You've polluted our one listener.
SPEAKER_04Man.
SPEAKER_06Am I suggesting Strom Therman porn? Go for it.
SPEAKER_02Now the AI is going, I'm getting right on that just in case anybody needs it later.
SPEAKER_06It's one of those things where Gemini just goes, listen, I I think you need to talk to somebody.
SPEAKER_02I think I want to I want to include the prompt uh Mitch McConnell.
SPEAKER_06Oh. I saw a really great video of his most recent proof of life picture. Where after after the picture was taken, uh his wife says in Mandarin for some reason, see, he's just fine, and then folds him up into a cardboard box and carries him away. Like it wasn't him, it was just a cutout. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, wow, first of all, probably true. Second of all, that's that's AI that I didn't get mad at for a change. Anyway, moving on.
SPEAKER_02All right. Okay, where were we? Oh, it gets he gets shot through with arrows. He's deadily dead, dead, dead. Um, and then presumably the rest of those men are dead as well, yes. They get exponentially splurched, we can assume. We don't get to see the whole battle. You know, we just we just they kind of fade off into the distance being slaughtered, basically.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, and the next thing we see is the guards finding Alicent and Helena. Remember that scene?
SPEAKER_02Alicent getting the news that they're here. What does that mean?
SPEAKER_06The guards.
SPEAKER_02The guards.
SPEAKER_06Oh no, she doesn't get the nudes. Nudes.
SPEAKER_02She didn't get the nudes? Good.
SPEAKER_06Because they were straps.
SPEAKER_02Nobody should be sending nudes in 2026. That's such a bad idea. No idea.
SPEAKER_06She wasn't being told they're here. One guard says to the other, they're here, and then they're discovered.
SPEAKER_02Oh, alright.
SPEAKER_06One guard says to the other, hey, they're here.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's right. He kind of looks behind him. He's like, Oh, they're here. I gotcha. That's your Nazi telling me that's where they got caught. There you go. I was so confused about that.
SPEAKER_06I don't think caught. I mean, they got caught last episode when they got out of their room and took four steps. And Sarah's like, Don't you think you maybe shouldn't go anywhere?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Cut to Damon talking about Sir Luther and 50 of his guys that he's lost so far. See, I got 25. He said 50.
SPEAKER_06He said 50. Four score and ten. That's 90, first of all. And there hasn't been 90 men dead.
SPEAKER_02Didn't you say fourscore and ten?
SPEAKER_06No. Abraham Lincoln said that. No.
SPEAKER_02I think he said fourscore and twenty.
SPEAKER_06No, score is twenty.
SPEAKER_02I know.
SPEAKER_06I almost said I can't remember the fucking getting forgotten.
SPEAKER_02I can't he's seven yet.
SPEAKER_06Four score and seven. Okay, yeah. He said he said five and twenty. Actually, he said two numbers. The first one was like 14. And then altogether, five and twenty of the the gold cloaks have been slaughtered.
SPEAKER_02Alright. I don't know how it came up with 50, but he's like, You're losing a King Karen. And all she can see is look, he's humiliating me. Nothing I can do. Where are all my guys?
SPEAKER_06Then it's really interesting. Exchange where Damon's like, here's what we'll do. I will go burn the fuck out of the Footly building. And the two jackasses who just joined the council last week are like, Oh yeah, Dragon's known for being precise once again. And Damon just whips a cup at Manderly, which I really appreciated. The chief of police at Malibu is a real reactionary. I mean, this is good.
SPEAKER_02Oh god. And then Alan Alan's like he's he agrees with the weirdos.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, he's like, I maybe dragon isn't the best.
SPEAKER_02He's got such a deep Oh my god. You can like feel it in your chest when he talks. He's got like that mmm.
SPEAKER_07Hmm. Dragon may not be the best idea.
SPEAKER_02How about you actually hit that note? Very good. That's really good.
SPEAKER_07I'm abstraining. I'll bad.
SPEAKER_02Anyway, um working hard for the money. All that hard for the m I don't know. We don't got any money. I think we gotta check for a penny.
SPEAKER_03Hey you guys, we're ready. Which is crazy.
SPEAKER_02Alan's trying to say, look, we have to be firm, but wait a little longer because I'm sure dad's gonna send some guys. And then Damon's like, uh, we gotta move now. And she's like, Dad wouldn't want me to just rush in there. She's like, um I'm gonna send in nine. Basically one-on-one assassins.
SPEAKER_06Yes.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_06She wants it done sneaky-like. And sneaky sneaky. Damon's like, well, alright, then I'll go. And she's like, no, because everyone knows who you are. Yeah. It's gotta be bad.
SPEAKER_07Oh, look, it's Diamond Targaryen come to kill Ormond.
SPEAKER_06Way to go, Alf. You fucking numpty. Wait, that's not his job, but sure. What happens then?
SPEAKER_02Lionel shows up. He's like, the Barathians have arrived.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02It's Rainy.
SPEAKER_06Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02And so she goes to the courtyard where there will be a map someday. It's not Boros as she had expected.
SPEAKER_06No, it's his ne nephew or something. Cousin? Cousin. And he's like, no, my cousin is busy with the vulture king at the Red Mountain.
SPEAKER_02And I'm like, where's that story? Who's the vulture king? What the fuck? I want to know about the vulture king on Red Mountain.
SPEAKER_06Something indoor, I guess. We don't get to learn about that.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Okay. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe we send Dunkin' Egg down to the the Red Whatnut? No, the Red Mountain? Let's do it.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. I want to know more.
SPEAKER_02About the Vulture King. That sounds awesome.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Vultures are awesome. Okay.
SPEAKER_06Well, they're ugly.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but they're so cool. Anyway, okay. The um this guy seems nervous, right? But sincere.
SPEAKER_03Why are you getting it? I just figured it out. I'm sorry. I just figured it out. What?
SPEAKER_06He says, uh if I had anything I he says to to Rune, if there's anything I could offer you, I would gladly lay it at your feet. And she looks him in the face and says, Give me your belt. And I spent the entire episode going, Why did she need his belt?
SPEAKER_02Yes, thank you. Because I wrote she wants his belt.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. And then I remembered Oh yeah, she just dresses up a bunch of scalawags and sends him down to talk to Norman and Darren. And uh that proceeds that leads to both my favorite scene and least favorite scene in the entire episode. And you know exactly why.
SPEAKER_02Then we see a dragon, and I thought with no rider, but then it turns out tiny rider. Yeah. Big dragon. Yeah. It's you and Ulf. Oh my god. And Ulf's just whinging about market day.
SPEAKER_03Did you use the word whinging?
SPEAKER_06Because I used the word whinging as well. In the in you when you wrote what you wrote? He's whinging about how his life sucks now that he can't drink with the boys, is what I wrote here.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy. I didn't write whinging, I just said it.
SPEAKER_06Oh, because I wrote it in my notes. Uh, because he was whinging. And uh he also drops the name of a champion during his whinge. Hot pie.
SPEAKER_02Hot pie, hot pie, hot pie, hot pie, hot pie, hot pie, hot pie, hot pie. He wants to get a hot pie.
SPEAKER_06He wants a hot pie. Which I don't think is the euphemism for anything. I think it's just a hot pie. I like how he even paused before he said it as if to say, I'm gonna say something awesome. Hot pies. Anyway, what's the point of having a dragon if no one's around to see it? I mean that's like the same you could say, instead of dragon, Maserati. He's got a point.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he's like, it's I'm not sure my life's gotten better. He's like, your life's gotten better.
SPEAKER_06You can't take your dragon down and park it in front of the pub. You just can't. Because he'll eat a passerby.
SPEAKER_02Dragon parking. There's liability. The paperwork? Good. Oh my gosh. Just the insurance to have that lot if you're going to allow dragon park?
unknownI can't imagine.
SPEAKER_02Anyway, it's absurd. Has he asks Hugh, has your life gotten better? And Hugh doesn't say anything.
SPEAKER_06No. Hugh's a man of few words.
SPEAKER_02But does he it does he indicate that it has or hasn't?
SPEAKER_06I didn't get anything out of Hugh.
SPEAKER_02Okay, okay, good. Because I'm like, am I missing something? Because I said, I can't tell. I cannot tell.
SPEAKER_06I don't know that he Alf leaves and Hugh takes his place. I guess they watching two-day shifts. Is that how it goes?
SPEAKER_02Yep. I said so he has to wait while Ulf goes and scouts for two days. Is that what he's supposed to be doing?
SPEAKER_06No, Hugh is doing the scouting and Alf is going back to rest.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, right, but he's not supposed to be in town. Well, we'll get to that. Right. Okay. So Rainey goes to see Allison and she's like, Why did you try to leave? What the fuck?
SPEAKER_06She's like, he's pregnant, didn't want you to kill the kid. Are you gonna let us do that? Is that okay?
SPEAKER_02Right. And Rainey's like, ah, again, you don't trust me. And she's like, come on, this is Game of Thrones. Have you met our writer? You are eventually going to kill this child. Come on. It's inevitable. Yeah. George, errr Martin is not gonna let this child live. He knows you too well. Is that the same hat? That's how the reference is.
SPEAKER_06He's wearing the same hat, right?
SPEAKER_02Who? R R R R Martin?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Do you get an extra R every time he gets a new hat?
SPEAKER_02Or Ooh, I don't know. How many hats does he have?
SPEAKER_06Well, he's only got the one hat. No, it's a little newsboy cap. He looks ridiculous. Anyway.
SPEAKER_02Oh, like a geek fisherman's hat.
SPEAKER_06And Renera leaves and talks to Masaria about how Helena's pregnant and asks if she knew. And of course, Masaria knew, and she lies directly to Rhenira. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And Rainey looks her in the eye and she lies to her.
SPEAKER_06I mean, it's her job. But then she says she she's telling somebody, a guard, she's looking over into the map room, and there's somebody down there talking. And she says, That one, the thief and a liar. Tell me when it's done. And I still don't know what the fuck that was about.
SPEAKER_02Uh, maybe we'll find out eventually.
SPEAKER_05Was that just something to She was pointing out the maid that helped Alicent and Helena escape? Ah see, I looked at the dude instead, and it was the maid. Yeah, me too.
SPEAKER_02I thought that's who she was sending after.
SPEAKER_05Then, of course, we never get any resolution to that statement because that's the last time that's ever mentioned in this episode.
SPEAKER_06And if we go to the end of season five or four or whatever, and we're like, so whatever happened to that maid?
SPEAKER_02Justice for Maid Girl. All right. Um this wasn't her choice. They made her do it. They made her do it. Oh, Damon is at the feast scene.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, he's in the in the the barracks. Only they took out the bodies. Well, that was good because they were uh they were not tasteful.
SPEAKER_02Uh-huh. And all the all a bunch of the gold cloaks come in behind him, and he's like, These guys are gonna be avenged, and they're like, mmm, don't think so. Hop by a spy. Yep, they're turning in their cloaks. And I thought it was just the one, and it was like a bunch. Oh no, I I could see you could see that they were they were all gonna do it. They wouldn't be standing behind him if they weren't all gonna do it.
SPEAKER_06I don't know. The the I've I've never resigned on Moss with a group of people.
SPEAKER_02I came this close once.
SPEAKER_06I imagine that'd be a really good feeling to like have five or six people just go, hey, guess what? We're fucking done, and just leave. It depends on what you're doing. If it's Walmart, fucking do it. Do it now, listener.
SPEAKER_02Damon, how does Damon handle this? Does he handle it well?
SPEAKER_06Well, he calls them cowards. Yeah, he derides them all. And then they just leave. And he doesn't do anything beyond that. And I suppose he does handle it well. Considering this universe and how he could have handled it, which would have been to murder them all where they stand.
SPEAKER_02To start stabby stabbing. Or grab his dragon and huff and puff and roast him in their toasties. Roast him in their toasties. Yeah. That's their armor.
SPEAKER_06So we're somewhere nearby where Alan visits. I'm sorry. Alan visits Corlus, who is hanging dead triarchy raiders from the trees.
SPEAKER_02Uh, for funsies as pinatas, uh, to keep them away from the bears. Like to do your food in the woods.
SPEAKER_06Let this one down, we're gonna eat it later. As the ghoul in Fallout said, this ass jerky ain't gonna make itself.
SPEAKER_02He's like, look, Rain, Rainy needs more guys. I have never seen it. She's like, Rainey needs more guys, but he's like, but I'm not asking for her. I'm asking like this is me asking for the the the guys. And Corlist is like, what the fuck? She wants more from me? This bitch wants more from me. He's like, I tell you what, I'm gonna give you a little something something, a little bit of info. Come here, come here.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Tyler Lannister survived the gullet and is going to Rook's rest.
SPEAKER_01No way. We already knew that.
SPEAKER_06Because remember last week when he met Laris and Aegon, and Laris was like, seven hells.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, Rainey didn't know yet. Yeah, but this week Corless was giving the information to Ellen. Is this dramatic irony? Is that what this is?
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_06Anyway. So we see that very Tyland Lannister digging a hole for the guy that Aegon stabbed. It's not a deep hole.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's not a deep hole. Or Laris is like, it needs to be deeper. And uh Tylan's like, you could get your own ass in here and start digging if that's what you'd like.
SPEAKER_06If you'd like to continue digging, the shovel is free. And I for a second I thought Laris was gonna take a step towards him and grab the shovel, but he just kicks a body into the hole.
SPEAKER_02And this is the guy that he had killed, right?
SPEAKER_06Yes.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_06So Laris says he's found a ship, and uh Tylon says they should go to Castroly Rock, and Aegon can call for the great houses to support him from there.
SPEAKER_02And then Aegon goes We can be buddies, we can rule together, it'll be fun. Come to Casterly Rock.
SPEAKER_06Tylon, do you think that I'm a terrible man? And this is the greatest hemming and hawing committed to film in a very, very long time.
SPEAKER_03Well, I mean, I it's not as though I mean it could be said that everybody has a you know we're all everybody's like You're a dick. But we're all dicks in a way.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I mean who hasn't who among us hasn't stabbed a man for calling you Gregory? Come on.
SPEAKER_02For funsies. Yes.
SPEAKER_06I mean, um Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So we're going to Essos. Going to Essos.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Cut to the cave where Rhaenyra's sitting on a rock eating some berries.
SPEAKER_06And I wrote something very, very large here. I put this in in caps. Back in the veil, Raina eats berries. From where? Fucking whole foods?
SPEAKER_02Did you see the size of those berries? They were gigantic.
SPEAKER_06And either she's very, very small, and that's a normal-sized berry, or she's normal sized, and that berry is immense.
SPEAKER_02Off in the distance. While eating her berries, she sees two dragons.
SPEAKER_06Is that what was happening? I was too busy freaking out about the berry.
SPEAKER_02That was it. That was it. That's all we see. So that's all we see is her seeing two dragons off in the distance. That it that is it.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_02Then we go to Amund and um Alice, I guess we've decided to.
SPEAKER_06Alice. Alice Rivers, sure enough.
SPEAKER_02Alice Rivers. Hi, my name is Alice Rivers, and I am running for city council. If you hadn't heard of me before, I run the local cat sanctuary. Ah, you can come see my pussies anytime.
SPEAKER_07I ain't voting for that Alice Rivers. She always smells like piss. Cat piss.
SPEAKER_02Anyway. Why? Why are you mean? Why are you mean? Why are you being mean, Alice? Alright. Uh, let's see. What happened? Uh boo-boo-doo boo. Oh, she's fixing up his face. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06And getting all close to him, and and they're talking about he wants to go find his dragon, and he keeps like leaning away from her and turning away and spinning away, and he's like, Right, Tempest, back off.
SPEAKER_02And uh she was aggressively like leaning into him. She's trying to get him to stay. Yeah. Right? It's like, make the world think you're dead through the winter. What have you gotta lose? Right? You know, everybody's a dragon. Yeah, I need my dragon. And he goes, I need a horse.
SPEAKER_06Okay, that's a downgrade, but I understand.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. She's like, Well, there's a bounty of your life. Everybody's trying to kill you. He's like, Well, then it doesn't matter where I'm at, then I'm always not safe. And she's like, Oh, you're such a dumb ass. Your dragon left so that they wouldn't find you. Because a dragon is hard to f hard to fucking hide.
SPEAKER_06Ah, I put to you that's not true. I have an invention that'll help uh it's the dragon be gone.
SPEAKER_02And it's really just a it's like a pokeball you can put your dragon in.
SPEAKER_06It's a mirror the size of your dragon. You how does that work? You put it in front of the dragon, they can't see the dragon behind the mirror. Inspired by David Copperfield making the Statue of Liberty disappear. Uh it's a dragon going on shark feeling. It's gonna make a fucking mint. I just want Kevin O'Leary to tell me that he's not supporting my idea because he thinks I'm an idiot, so I can walk over and deck him in the throat.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Wow, you've thought about this.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. And he just wanna punch Kevin O'Leary in the throat. Who doesn't?
SPEAKER_02I don't know who Kevin O'Leary is.
SPEAKER_06He's one of the fucking Nimrods on Shark Tank.
SPEAKER_02Oh, oh, oh, oh, well. Yeah, that's because I don't want Shark Tank. But I do watch people who make fun of the products from Shark Tank.
SPEAKER_06You know, every now and again there's a good idea. Like the smiley scrubby. None of them wanted to do smiley scrubby. I've got a fucking smiley scrubby. Guess what?
SPEAKER_02I don't have a smiley scrubby. You do not have a scrub daddy. Zero of a scrub or a scrub mama or scrub baby. I don't have a scrub uncle, a scrub scrub. Scrub uncle! It comes pre-dirtied. You only use it to clean your barbecue grill.
SPEAKER_06Scrub uncle's the only he gets you a beer. Listen, I know you're not old enough. Don't tell your mother.
SPEAKER_03It's got actually got like a church key in it.
SPEAKER_01Where the mouth is.
SPEAKER_06You going out tonight? You're gonna need some rubbers.
SPEAKER_01Here you go, buddy.
SPEAKER_06Whoa, scrub uncle.
SPEAKER_01Here's an extra, and here's an extra 20. All right. Um place nice. Scrub uncle wins again, baby.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so this next scene had me laughing. It opens with that lady. Who is she again? What's her name, lady?
SPEAKER_03Her name is Jane Aaron. Aaron, yes, Lady Aaron.
SPEAKER_02And she her and your current goons have kicked somebody through the moon door.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. She's like, hmm. And they just missed it, and we hear him. And she's like, it's always fun, isn't it? Watch what she says.
SPEAKER_04Oh man. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_06Look at how fun this is. Can we do this more frequently? I'd really love to throw people down my terrifying moon door more regularly.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_03We should do this more often.
SPEAKER_02We should make a club of it. You know what?
SPEAKER_03Moondor Thursday.
SPEAKER_02Moondoor Thursdays.
SPEAKER_03Love it.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Uh, so they've brought Rainey in. Not Rainey, but Raina. Raina.
SPEAKER_06Yes. Um she and the large berry.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. She she what she had seen was her sister's dragon. And so she had gotten on Cheap Stealer and decided to follow them. And Lady Erin's people saw her, found her.
SPEAKER_06And she is meant to be hid hidden. Hidden, right.
SPEAKER_02So she gets serious repressed rage. Holy crap, throwing people out moondors, slapping young girls around.
SPEAKER_06You know what it is? She never had a scrub uncle to help her out when she was a younger person.
SPEAKER_02I think you're right. Or the scrub auntie. The scrub auntie is very cool. It has painted nails, so you have to be delicate with it.
SPEAKER_03See, scrub uncle will help you check out the show. Are you okay?
SPEAKER_06There's a whole family, a whole family of scrub products, and they're all stereotypical. Like scrub daddy just doesn't speak. He's really tough on the kids. Scrub mommy is like missing pieces of her hair because she's so stressed out from all the effort being. And then we've already discussed scrub uncle and aunt. That's really good. Scrub cousin, just like a bully that's slightly older, so they lord it over you the whole time. Scrub brother and scrub sister just punch you and steal your stuff, because that's what siblings are for. Scrub baby. Scrub baby just cries and poops. It actually makes more mess than it cleans up. And then there's scrub grandparents. Scrub grandpa just sits around and smokes his pipe and watches baseball all day long. And scrub grandma, well, scrub grandma is uh in a home. My head, my head has gone to places it shouldn't. I'm so sorry, Scrub Family.
SPEAKER_02I can't speak.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay. So you want shark tank fuckers?
SPEAKER_02Dragons. We have uh we hear a dragon screeching and Baylor just kind of hanging out thinking? Now, does she have a dragon and it's hidden away?
SPEAKER_06It's in the pit. It's in the dragon pit. And the dragon's just chilling.
SPEAKER_02So you're telling me that there's no dragon pit in the veil where the dragon can just hang out?
SPEAKER_06No, because King's Landing was designed to house dragons. The dragon pit was designed for dragons. It's like that's true. It's like Dragon's Reach in in Whiterun and Skyrim. It was built to house a dragon. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, who came down to who came down to see Baylor?
SPEAKER_06Um!
SPEAKER_02That's right. And he tells her about seeing Corless, and he's like, but uh, I need you to speak to him.
SPEAKER_07There's zero chance you can talk to him.
SPEAKER_02Good lord, Spencer. That's really good.
SPEAKER_06And she's like, I I can't because I got my own shit to worry about. And he's like, Yeah, pretty much.
SPEAKER_02I wrote she's got enough shit already.
SPEAKER_07What if we just started making out for no reason?
SPEAKER_02What the okay. First of all. First question. Yes, hello. First question. He saw Corless today? Yeah. How far away is Corless?
SPEAKER_06Over there. Just like around the corner, Corless? I don't know. I mean, he's on, he's probably near the gullet, and that's near King's Landing. So it couldn't have been too far. And I don't know why he asked her to speak to him when he just did.
SPEAKER_02I guess he figures that she'll have more sway over him for whatever reason. I don't know why.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_02Here's the other thing.
SPEAKER_06Bela is related to Corlus.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_06I believe. I believe that he is her grandfather.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_06Which makes this make out session weird.
SPEAKER_03Well, it's her half uncle. I don't fucking know. But then again, this is This is Game of Thrones.
SPEAKER_02Come on, man. This is nothing. This is Targary.
SPEAKER_05He would be her half brother, because they oh. No, uncle, uncle. Uncle, half uncle. Yeah, yep. Half scrub uncle.
SPEAKER_02Half scrub uncle. Okay. She she approaches him. She approaches him. Gets very close.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Right? And said she's making a play.
SPEAKER_03There is not a lick of chemistry between these two people. As far as we know, this is the first time they've ever talked.
SPEAKER_02When she leans in to kiss him, he gets aggressive.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02He he he's he is all up in that like immediately. And that's the last we see of that, I believe. Yes.
SPEAKER_06And good too. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Now we've got Gawain and Hightower.
SPEAKER_05Just a quick comment. They're setting up a love triangle between Adam, Alan, and Bela. Because Adam is interested in Bela when he was talking about they could fly away together.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's right.
SPEAKER_05And so now you've got a love triangle developing. I didn't need that in my life. That's what happened. That's what ruined the Hobbit.
SPEAKER_03Wasn't she involved with Jace? They were married. That's what I thought.
SPEAKER_02And he moves fast. Like a couple days.
SPEAKER_06Well, I mean, time means not long. As far as we know, it could be two years on. Who knows?
SPEAKER_02No, because didn't we see in the recap like two episodes ago, him being dead? And the battle. The battle that Corless is going to clean up. A day's ride away.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Nothing. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Anyhow, time means nothing in this world. I don't care. All right. Gwen with Hightower. That's where we are.
SPEAKER_06Yes, Gwen and Ormond having a chat.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm. Hightower's like, what do you mean you left him there and you came back? And he's like, I told him, peace out. And he he was gonna lose, man. I did not want to die. Don't know what to tell you, my guy.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, there was no fight here. It's not good. But we have Ormond is like really arrogant about well, it turns out we have the advantage because we have this place where they can't come because these are her subjects and she's a queen. Also, we have spies back in King's Landing murdering the city watch. So uh so go get yourself cleaned up.
unknownMm-hmm.
SPEAKER_06Because you stinky.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because you smell bad.
SPEAKER_06And then he makes a rude comment about how Gwane might might be gay. And I'm like, okay, first off, Darren is his nephew. Uh shut up, Ormond, you fuck. I'm not I was high on hor I was high on Ormond. Not anymore. He's too much of a human.
SPEAKER_02He's a prick. You liked Ormond?
SPEAKER_06Initially, I thought he was clever. I mean, he did he did threatening nudity a couple episodes ago.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, that takes Yeah, that still's not clever.
SPEAKER_06That takes some co jones to stand up in front of these rich people and be like, check it out.
SPEAKER_02I don't know that swinging your dick. I don't know that swinging your dick is it the move that you think it is.
SPEAKER_06No, no, it's just you have to have a little bit of a little bit of swagger in order to do that. You gotta swing it. I appreciated it, swagger. Still swinging it. I don't generally utilize it for anything that is but its intended purpose.
SPEAKER_02Which is okay, we should move on.
SPEAKER_01Get over that.
SPEAKER_02Um, so uh so Darren and Gawain are talking about how Gawain left Darren alone with him, with Ormond, quote, knowing what he was? A piece of shit? Yeah.
SPEAKER_06He knew he was a piece of shit, and here I am with the piece of shit, and now he thinks I'm king, and I don't want to be king, and I'll never be king. Please don't leave me here with Mr. Piece of shit.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_02And Gwen's like, well then stand up for yourself. I don't know what to tell you, man. I need a nap, like so bad, my guy. Just need a bath. I should maybe maybe a hot shower. Then I'm thinking foot massage, maybe as I go to sleep.
SPEAKER_06I kind of re react um to my wife the way Gwen reacted to Darren in this scene. It's like, I'm hearing what you're saying, you're hitting me with a lot, but I'm exhausted. So wait until I've had a nap and a cigarette, and then we will discuss all of this shit.
SPEAKER_02Then he'd say he goes, When you were there, did you see my mother? Yeah. Now that scene just ends like that. He doesn't answer the question, nothing is said about it.
SPEAKER_06Um, apparently, and this is apparently not remembering No, you are absolutely correct. Okay. There was something cut from that scene.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Okay, thank you.
SPEAKER_06Gwen puts his arm around Darren and they walk away together. Which implies that there was some sort of discussion to be had about seeing his mother.
SPEAKER_02That was a private conversation between the two of them as they walked away.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but we didn't see that. Oh, good lord.
SPEAKER_02I was like, how does this end? It just leaves it hanging. I'm thinking, there was nothing really I don't know. Okay, Helena is stitching and ignoring Alison. Yeah. Ah, they're talking, then they start talking about the escape and how it went bad, and Helena starts pricking herself with the needle because she's crazy. Well, she's pissed off at Alfred.
SPEAKER_06She's pissed off at Alice for having lied about Helena's child. Her kid was never gonna be caught. It caught it was never meant to come with us. And Alice's just like, look, I'm trying my best to save you. And then Helena's like, You mean you? Listen, just eat. And she storms off, having not eaten. And then we get a look at the tapestry that Helena is making. And now we can talk about the interpretation you had of this particular image. Okay, okay, alright.
SPEAKER_03I want to hear what you thought you saw first. Uh I saw a blue-eyed zombie child in a womb. Okay.
SPEAKER_06I saw a black castle and Amund in this weird yonic shape. I wasn't gonna because it was a child with a sapphire for an eye. And and that red it did look like a ginger, let me tell you. That's why I use the word yannick. Listener, Yonick is a word that means vaginal.
SPEAKER_02Well, what I what I thought it was was she was drawing her womb with her child, and it's gonna be a blue-eyed child, but at the same time it was so bright blue, I'm like, ooh, is this the start of the like the White Walker children?
SPEAKER_06I see. I thought the bright blue was uh uh indicating aamond, especially because there was a black castle behind the whole thing.
SPEAKER_02I think she's I don't I see you know what? Had I not been enhanced with cannabis products, I might have seen a little more detail, but I paused on it and looked at it for a goodish amount of time.
SPEAKER_0615, 20 seconds. So much trouble wore out.
SPEAKER_05I wonder if it's going to be featured in the opening credits next week.
SPEAKER_02Doing the heads up all right. Uh the stable boy sees Amon as he's getting his horse. So Alice is to kill him. Like, what the fuck? I'm sure he would have just been like, hey man, I'm cool. I'm not gonna tell anybody. But he might have been tempted by the the bounty, I guess.
SPEAKER_06Uh well, what's this little kid gonna do against Amon?
SPEAKER_02So then she's like if you don't I'm gonna she's like, I gotta show you something. I gotta show you something, I gotta show you something.
SPEAKER_06If your spirit is winning. And I thought, what is he gonna is she gonna they're gonna do the sex? Is that what that means? No, no, it was literally a spiritual thing because she grabs this chest and it's and takes the cover off it, and inside is five dragon eggs. Five. Five.
SPEAKER_02She's kept them waiting for a Targaryen, and then when one presented itself, she fucking miseried him.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. You're not getting on you're not getting out of this cock of duty castle so easily, there one eye.
SPEAKER_02Nope. And then he's like, you know what? Maybe I'm not the guy for this. You know what? Everything I touch turns to shit. This is some self-realization here. I'm proud of him for this.
SPEAKER_06And he's rugby balling this dragon egg, because it's about the size of a rugby ball.
SPEAKER_02And she's like, you know what? I'm tired of being cursed. I bet you are too. She wants to be his something. She doesn't really she's like, I'm gonna be. She's thought about this. I'm gonna be. Okay, so here's how it's gonna go. I'm gonna play Lady of the Water, and you're gonna be the dragon lord. Okay, so first thing we gotta do is have the baby. So give me breakers. Let's go!
SPEAKER_06And then they start making out, and I'm like, and again, no chemistry. None at all.
SPEAKER_02None. He had more chemistry with uh Agar. Aegon Amund? No, he's Amund.
SPEAKER_06Yes, uh Aegon. He had more chemistry, he had more chemistry with Finn from the other show.
SPEAKER_02From the other show? Ah, chicken wing.
SPEAKER_06Spirth you bastard. Anyway. So it's holding court time for Rhenira, and she is her crown is askew. She's listening to everyone in in order complain about how there's no gold cloaks, so we're screwed. There's no gold cloak, so we're screwed. There's no gold cloaks over screwed. And she's getting really worked up over it, and then she notices that she's cut her finger on the throne again. Put some pool just put some fucking pool noodles on it.
SPEAKER_02Pool noodles, I'm telling you. At least on the ones where your hands are gonna be dangling.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Or put your hands in your lap. Mike has a finger.
SPEAKER_05So she cut her finger on the same blade that her father cut his finger on, and then he developed the sepsis that drove him mad. Yes.
SPEAKER_06Oh. Is this an unwashed spiky chair?
SPEAKER_03Has no one gone in and disinfected the Iron Throne? This is some tetanus leading to sepsis for sure.
SPEAKER_06Oh no. Well, when she cuts her finger, her her range of hearing light changes, and then she just gets up and leaves. And then they lock everyone in the throne room for some reason.
SPEAKER_02That was so weird. I hope there's another exit. That's a fire hazard. Just saying.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's a big room to have one door. So Damon is gold cloaking by himself for a bit.
SPEAKER_02And he's being followed by Prince Humperdink, um, who follows him, but he gets ambushed by Damon, right? Who's holding him?
SPEAKER_06Yes. And there's this extraordinary scripted story about how there's tons of them and they hate the queen and they'll never accept her, and no matter what you We are everywhere.
SPEAKER_02You don't know who you're fucking with. You can't kill us. You can kill us, but we'll never embrace Rainey.
SPEAKER_06It is anonymous, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02He stabs him in the ear. Guy collapses. Now, yeah, tell me something. The faceless men. If this is the faceless men, right, wouldn't his face change?
SPEAKER_06I don't think.
SPEAKER_02Doesn't their face change when they die?
SPEAKER_06I I think you're you're reading too much into the title.
SPEAKER_05He's not a faceless man. The faceless men that she that the title talks about are the assassins that Rainey sends to Ormond. They're faceless, they're they're not recognizable.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that's it.
SPEAKER_02I'm so disappointed. I want this to be a faceless man. I want this to be well, damn it. Okay, I know. It doesn't matter what I want it to be.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, the problem is you're expecting this to be clever. And the the first show was exceedingly clever, and this is not anywhere near that clever.
SPEAKER_02Not not as clever. So Damon bumps into it.
SPEAKER_06It's still good, but it's not that clever.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Damon bumps into Elf.
SPEAKER_07Watch where you're fucking oh my prince.
SPEAKER_02Ooh. Yeah, and Damon's like, aren't you supposed to stay in the keep? You are not supposed to be.
SPEAKER_06I'm just having uh having the air. You know. Uh guy works hard, and I get a couple days off and we'll have some fun. Something you could understand, and he goes to poke him, and uh Damon just levels him out.
SPEAKER_02Slap stomp, just bang, just steps on his chest.
SPEAKER_06It's like, oh you do that again. You leave the castle, I will have your eyes out.
SPEAKER_02And everybody's watching this, and then the girl is the girl spy, isn't it? Is she the one that watches and then runs away and he follows her?
SPEAKER_06I couldn't identify her as anyone important. I just noticed that everyone was looking at Damon, going, eesh, he's nice.
SPEAKER_02She was in the long grass. He's gonna have to check for ticks later.
SPEAKER_06And just out of frame is Russell Crowe walking in the long grass with his hands in the I'm sorry, I saw the wheat and I immediately went to Gladiator. I don't know why.
SPEAKER_02Aw. Oh yeah. So he sees a cart, he flags it down. Holder! And then steals the cart and the guy's clothes.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. And he rides into Tumbleton as a basket trader.
unknownMm-hmm.
SPEAKER_06Oh, and then my favorite and also least favorite scene at the same time. So Orman and Gwen and Ormin, Gwen, and Darren are sitting around a table eating dinner, and Orman is going on about how you have to choose your council well. And all of a sudden it's announced that there are Bratheans, an envoy from the Bratheans to visit. And these six really stinky guys walk into the room. Apparently, we're we're seeing this scene from Orman's point of view because they are so foul that he cannot concentrate on them.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_06Because of his nieces.
SPEAKER_02He's the cousin to Lord Boros. Now, had Gawain seen.
SPEAKER_06He had apparently seen Arian Baratheon, because at the end of it, at the end of the scene, he mentions how he knew.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_06They ask if they could uh bend the knee to the king, who they immediately swear fealty to. There's like no hesitation whatever, so it's clearly a boy, obviously. And they all turn and look, and there's Darren, and and they bend down, and just as soon as they bend down, Gwen draws steel and just starts murdering the shit out of all these people.
SPEAKER_02Yep. He's like, these are assassin. And then uh come to kill you and Darren, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, they kill the they stabby stab them quite handily, and they're I mean that the the attack was great, there's a lot of slurping, there's like liquid falls out of a person in a big ol' wave, kind of great. Yeah, gushy gushy. And they get done, and Gwen goes, Look, these men are uh not who they claim to be. I can tell you because Arian Baratheon is fair of hair and a foot taller, and much more handsome than this guy, who he picks up his bloody head and then puts it back down, and then immediately the scene is ruined by Ormond puking up his lunch. And I fucking hate mommy. And I was eating, I had I had elbow macaroni with pasta sauce and cheese on it tonight, and it looked a lot like what he was throwing up, and I was very cross.
SPEAKER_02Oh no, that's so sad. I'm so excited.
SPEAKER_06Oh, thanks. I hate it.
SPEAKER_02Oh man. Yeah, see, puking doesn't bother me. I'm one of those people, I am not a sympathetic puker.
SPEAKER_06I'm disgusted by it. It's not that I'm gonna throw up, I just hate it.
SPEAKER_02Cut to a girl scrubbing the floor with what I'm guessing is the industrial strength. Uh second cousin scrubbers. Second scrub second cousin. Yeah. Second scrub, second scrubby cousin. Oh, first I missed the whole scene with Hugh sneaking up on Kat.
SPEAKER_06Oh, that's true. I you know what? Because in my mind, they went right together anyway. But yeah, Hugh finds his wife.
SPEAKER_02Yes. And she's overwhelmed that he's still alive.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yes. At him. She's like, you know what? You know what I you know what the fuck I had to do? Do you know how long it is? From where we were before to King's Landing? Do you know? Do you know? I walked. Do you know why? Because you're out gallivanting with dragons. What am I doing? Holding shit together here at home. That's what I'm doing, buddy. You're out riding dragons, getting rich, whatever the fuck I needed you here.
SPEAKER_06And presumably, based on what she said, she had some unwarranted attention on her travel travels to Tumbleton.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Which we can only assume.
SPEAKER_06We can glean a lot from the way she spoke to him. And then she's like, Who are you? and just shoves him away and then disappears. So clearly that that relationship is done. And he's like, Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, he didn't handle it well. He like slaps her a little and puts his hand over her mouth. And I'm just like, you're not this is not good. This is not the way to persuade her.
SPEAKER_06No, she's not going to like any of this. She doesn't like any of that.
SPEAKER_02Then we get the girl scrubbing on the floor with the scrub second cousin, uncle, daddy. The whole damn family. The whole damn family's in that bucket. She's prepared for anything. Get the whole family of scrub people. Scrub spongies. Scrubby puppy. I don't know. Oh, ooh, scrub puppy. Yeah, scrub puppy. Scrub puppy. For all it's just for scrubbing your actual dog. All right.
SPEAKER_03Um if you have a dog that's scrubbable.
SPEAKER_02I do.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh, we have non-shedding dogs, so you can actually anyway. Um, you can scrub your hairless cat.
SPEAKER_07I have a hairless cat.
SPEAKER_02So that's kind of you kind of see this long scene of the girl scrubbing, and Gawain and Orman are in the window overlooking the courtyard watching uh Darren practice with three boys in his courtyard.
SPEAKER_06He's sparring. And Orman's like, listen, I appreciate what you did. You can go back to uh old town if you want. And then I kind of missed the rest of the scene because I was too busy thinking he didn't have to throw up at the end of that last scene. That didn't need to happen.
SPEAKER_02That was in the unnecessary puking. Timeout, timeout, unnecessary puking.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02We don't need any of that. Well, he does say um Gawain's like, he'll be a good king if you let him. So what's your plan here? And that really doesn't get answered.
SPEAKER_06But um we don't want to we don't want to see into the mind of Ormond Hightower, I don't think.
SPEAKER_02I don't think so. He's so smarmy. It's the haircut, I'm telling you. I hate it. Hate it so much. Hate his haircut.
SPEAKER_03Can't you hate his face instead?
SPEAKER_02I'm not fond of that either. Okay, then. But the haircut he can do something about. He can't do anything about his face. He can do something without the haircut. Just I'm just putting that out there. So Raimi and Ellison.
SPEAKER_06Draw my sorrows in this black cherry Kool-Aid.
SPEAKER_02And Alison's like, listen, Helen is gonna go nutballs if she has to be inside all the time. She needs to get the fuck out of the house. I tell you what, uh, I know where Amond is.
SPEAKER_07And uh How do you know where Amon is?
SPEAKER_02Nah, she goes, how do you know? She goes, just just trust me, I know. She goes, I tell you what, if I tell you, you have to let us go free. And Rainey's like, I'm gonna do shit. What's the end? Where? Where is he? She's like, he's at Heron Hall. She's like, fuck. Fucking look there. We look there, of course we look there. It would be really obvious if Vagar was there. She goes, I did not say that Vagar is there. I said, Amon's there. And she's like, it's like she goes, Oh yeah. Then Allie is like, listen, Helen is uh a dreamer, which magical blah blah blah. Uh that's how she knows. Um, and Rainey's like, well, if his drag is not there, then he's alone and he's on foot. So I could just send somebody he trusts with somebody with a big stabby, and they could work together to find and kill Amond. End of problem. And Alien's Alien's Allie's like, mmm okay, but uh oh, I know. I don't want to leave Helen because she's very fragile and weird. You know this about her. Like I said, dreamer has to be outside, plays with caterpillars, puts him in cages, which is odd, because they can just crawl right out. But you know, she's Helena. What are you gonna do? Rainey's like, I tell you what, you go, I'll babysit. It'll be fine. And uh Allie's like, I told you this would happen.
SPEAKER_06Look, you don't get a choice. You're going.
SPEAKER_02Oh my Yeah. Then uh we cut to Allie having to explain this to Helena, uh giving her a bowl of brown. This was a hard scene. Because you can tell there's something like wrong with Helen.
SPEAKER_06She's like, Why am I here?
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_06Why didn't you marry me off to someone else instead of having me marry my brother? And she's like, Well, that was Otto's idea. It was better you were here with me than somewhere weird.
SPEAKER_02Allie basically is trying to convince you to eat. She's like, if you don't eat. I can't leave. I have to know you're gonna eat, so I can leave. So she takes a sip of brown, and then Ellie's like, I'll come back for you.
SPEAKER_06Like that was enough to I've got one spoon, one teaspoon of Okay, good enough.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm out. I'm I trust you now.
SPEAKER_06I would have at least waited until she finished one of the Pop Tarts in the packet.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_06You don't have to eat both of them. You don't have to eat the wrapper, but you do have to eat the Pop Tarts.
SPEAKER_02So anyway, uh Rainy, we see Rainey sitting on Joffrey's bed. Has this child been awake at all? The entire time he's been there?
SPEAKER_06And mom the whole time. I don't want to type Joffrey either. I don't like that.
SPEAKER_02Allison's writing out. We see the priest handing Rainey um like a jerkin. Yeah. With a Baratheon sigil on it, and a note on the back that says your hand.
SPEAKER_06It's written in blood.
SPEAKER_02So we've got two boys around a fire thing. It's Corless's guys, and he's giving them a campfire prep talk, and he's gonna send them into the city next, and and he's gonna go with them, and then a bunch of guys come in from the forest and mark them all.
SPEAKER_06Well and I can tell you this that Orman's lieutenant actually did not murder Corless, he kidnapped.
SPEAKER_02That's it. Uh, did we miss anything, Mike? Is there anything?
SPEAKER_05Nope, nope. My only comment is that uh this series seems to be getting more into the mundane aspects of ruling a kingdom. So many times it's at the small council or at the chambers or blah blah blah blah blah. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do instead of let's go kill people?
SPEAKER_02You know what it is? You know what it is. It's like somebody ran for city council, and they were one of you know the producers and for city council. And then they realized, you know, government moves slowly, it's not all so quick. Somebody else comes along and proves that you can just do whatever the fuck you want because if you do enough shit, they can't catch you all all the time on all the shit, and they just end up bumping into each other um Keystone cops ways, and you get away with all kinds of shit you shouldn't be able to get away with. And that's my soapbox for tonight. Hi, that's it. Hey, thank you so much for listening. Please, please let us know you listen. Share us wherever. We don't care. You know, share us on Brady Bunch threads, whenever the fuck. Email us at royalhighnesspod at gmail.com. You can message us on Facebook. I'll I'll answer you. Thank our producer. I want to thank our producer Mike.
SPEAKER_05Thanks, Mike. You're welcome.
SPEAKER_02And all the fine folks over at Injured Nerves Productions. We can't wait to do it all again in two weeks. We are taking next week off to go camping. And until then, love ya. Bye.
SPEAKER_00Get your straw bunkle today. Royal Highness is produced by Injured Nerves Productions and is available on all major podcast platforms. The opinions and comments expressed here are those of the hosts and their guests and are not affiliated in any way with HBO or the Game of Thrones series. If you want to contact us, you can do so at RoyalHighnesspod at gmail.com. Thanks for listening. We hope you come back to listen again.